so there we were in Amman, Jordan. Graciously being shown around by my good friend’s sister. We entered a store, me in search of manglish and trinkets.
But then something caught my eye. Amidst a bunch of books strewn on the floor, lay one that screamed out, “Hi there, neighbor!”
< FIGHTING IN THE WAY OF JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME >
JCVD! Apparently the Jordanians have a refined taste in men. The arabic says something like, “The life & fighting art of Jean Claude Van Damm.” I told my friends I wanted it, and they asked how much. The owner responded with a high price. Nadia laughed and said NO WAY. The owner stammered, “But it’s one of my best sellers!” Even he couldn’t believe what he’d just said, so he relented.
< THE AMERICAN HERO, VAN DAMME >
There his majesty is, posing with the patron saint of kung fu.
And again, with his “gay lumberjack” outfit. This goes on for a few pages. And hey, why does it say, “METH” on bruce’s leg?
< BRUCE LEE, THE KING OF KUNG FU >
Some contextless shots of Bruce Lee again. Just thrown in for flavor.
a series of uncomfortable fighting poses and unexplained moves.
Okay – an overview of the fists in this system. The half-assed ram, the dagger fist, and WTF? Donatello?
When learning the Way of Jean Claude Van Damm, it’s essential to know how the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would perform it.
But wait – the Turtle hasn’t moved. Perhaps it’s because he’s just turtle slow.
The turtles do their own thing while the fetus from Aliens looks on.
GOD I WISH I HAD THIS AS A POSTER
the five fists of van damm, AND the shitting turtle form.
A groin punch with a gigantic fist seems like a cheap shot.
Disco guy gets owned by van damm’s turtle fighting system. The whole book seems to be a poorly hand-drawn copy of “Tao of Jeet Kune Do” (Bruce Lee) interspersed with Jean Claude and the ninja turtles. A truly inspired creation.
A fantastic find in a land of untapped manglish. More to come. Salaam!
thank you for that. absolutely incredible
First of all: Jon we missed you!!!
Secondly…Tanned Man socks huh? That’s a new one. They’re just for you. (No, thanks)
JCVD….I’m so worried. He’s just too much douche for one country…he’s gotta invade Jordan now? Let them have him. lol.
Keep it comin’ Jon!
OMG John!
I am in tears!
That’s one of the funniest things you’ve posted in a long time…well, so you really haven’t posted much in along time, but you know what I mean!
SO glad I checked in today! I needed that laugh!!
Awesome!
So…where are the Alaska pics?
:O)
weeping with laughter here, the whole office looking at me …
OMFG I want that book!
LMAO
For the one you want as a poster, try photocopying the page. Scanning the photocopy and printing the image onto acetate and then projecting it onto a big piece of paper, where you can trace it. Or just send the scan to a designer friend who should be able to turn it into a vector image fairly easily for use on a poster.
[...] got to go and check out www.rahoi.com. He’s a purveyor of Engrish in its finest form. The Way of the Warrior just made me spit out my coffee. Well done, sir. An example of his excellent [...]
That is an amazing find. Treasure that forever and never let it go!
Hey this is so beautiful..i want that book
the best thing i could ever wish for christmas
I happened across your site when looking up a goole search of English-Chinese mistranslations, and your menu came up. I have to say, I think I laughed for about half an hour, and was wondering if there was any way I could perhaps contribute possible material from out where I live?