(light pollution can be pretty.)
Forgive me, dearest readers - i have not forgotten thee. I have been both busy and away, taking turns at each. But I brought you a present!
Many, actually, but let’s start with a bang. So I was in Jordan.
and they had an amusing Manglish level.
What else says, “puffy corn fingers injected with chocolate” than our 49th state, which is about 80% men? There’s a joke in there somewhere.
A cologne called “Insurrection” and a “highly-concentrated” one called “One Man Show” just strike me as hilarious.
“Wow, Steve, what the hell are you wearing?”
“One Man Show.”
“I’ll say!”
Amiably grown up. There’s a parental goal. “The geography education material with overflow packing for infant.” Wait a minute! Aren’t I in Jordan? That box’s outline looks suspiciously like… Wait, it’s coming to me… um. man I should have paid attention in Geography…
That’s right, Mike - that’s China we were looking at, and I’ve now spotted the source of much of the mangled English to be seen around Amman. Cheap Chinese Imports! Half a world away from anywhere I call home, and yet I feel welcome.
The power is matchless - and so is the name - DaredeVil in name, Batman inside, bats, Spiderman, Robin, Venom, and whatever character Alicia Silverstone played on the box. Close enough, it’s not like Daredevil could ever see this travesty, seeing how he’s blind. Um, and fictional. Let’s move on.
When I read this I picture a World War 2 movie with someone shouting into a radio this code, “EXCELLENCE - REPEAT - EXCELLENCE. THERE IS NO FASHION TREND, DIESEL. NO FASHION TREND. OVER. EXECUTE PLANET OCEAN STUDIO AT ONE-TWO-EIGHT. OVER!”
I can’t heckle this without repeating myself. knock yourselves out.
Is this a haiku? This product was kind of uhiou. nature of manglish.
if the dollar weakens much more, this may not be out of the question. Someone wake Ron Paul!
How many of you have ever been to a refugee camp? Well, I have, and the chicken was just OK.
Can you tell me how to get… how to get to…?
For some reason this sounds kind of dirty. Or like nunchaku? I’m confused!
Some typically friendly Palestinian refugees. They were initially suspicious of me taking pictures of everything. But really, would anyone pick me to be a spy? I’m the loudest, largest, most buffoonish person in any room; 3 Buffets of the Condor. BTW: I always wonder, when I’m in, say, a REFUGEE CAMP a world away, how a shirt that says “Forest Lake Area Community Services Baseball” got to be there. This shit is like the Da Vinci Code to me.
I have a feeling Walt Disney is going to sue you into another dimension.
I’ll leave it there - as I go through my pics, I’m remembering how much there is to say. I have two VERY funny things to share. Stay tuned for those - but here’s a peek:
more soon - salaam!
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16 responses so far ↓
1 Garrett Albright // Jul 26, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Notice how the outline of China on the “Amused Beling” toy includes Taiwan. And Tibet, of course.
2 Kathy // Jul 26, 2008 at 11:56 pm
Yay! You’re back!! Missed you, please post again soon! It’s been waaaaay too long
3 Ari // Jul 28, 2008 at 5:37 am
Missed ya mate!
4 Mel // Jul 29, 2008 at 9:28 pm
Quality street chocolates are a British product. Just thought you’d like to know that its not some weirdly translated product name.
5 That Dude From London // Jul 31, 2008 at 3:31 am
I’ve sent you even more stuff now that I know you’re back!
6 Carol the Archaeologist // Jul 31, 2008 at 9:34 am
Thank god, you are returned to us. I may now exhale.
Please, I beg of you, do not leave your adoring public in limbo like this again…. (Were you alive? The other thing? Had you just seduced and abandoned us? Were we mere playthings to you? I have been reduced to rationing myself archived tidbits - visiting the site each day with heart in mouth, ever hopeful - only to have hopes dashed time and again).
At least give us fair warning next time you slope off.
Very glad you are back. Hoping you the same.
Can’t wait to find out what the cool, blond Jordanian dude is hawking. Math tuition?
7 HJ // Aug 3, 2008 at 12:12 am
Hi John,
Glad you’re back! Saw this and was thinking it would fit in nicely with the latest Manglish installment:
http://adweek.blogs.com/adfreak/2008/07/then-well-grab.html
8 Carol the Archaeologist // Aug 6, 2008 at 11:14 am
Um. Hello? Thought you were returned to us…. I still appear to be darting daily and fruitlessly to the website in expectation of your sharing “two VERY funny things” (all these months and only TWO?) with us. Not to mention the famous terrible actor from Europe by way of Jordan. No fair tantalizing us like that.
Whatever we did to offend - we apologise. Really.
9 Vigilante // Aug 28, 2008 at 5:00 pm
You have returned! And I’m late to celebrate your return! Guess I’ll have to have to have…one, two, three….twenty nine…two cases of beer to celebrate your triumphant return to blogging!
Yeah, I know that’s more than I need. I might have guests, you know. MIGHT. That’s the operative word here. One never knows when one may be called upon to share a case of beer.
So how in the Hell did you end up in Jordan? In a refugee camp, no less? Vewy intewesting.
Do tell.
10 Janbo // Aug 29, 2008 at 8:27 am
Agreed, it’s been too long. I’d just found your delicious blog when you apparently exited the building. Welcome back, and more, puhrease!
11 Funny Man // Sep 3, 2008 at 1:41 am
That’s the great thing about traveling you find so many new and different things to bring back or just talk about.
They seem strange to us but I’m willing to bet that on some blogs in different lands some of the things we find normal are being totally scrutinized and probably affording many a raised brow.
12 Kristin N Turner // Sep 4, 2008 at 8:17 am
hey
13 NickyB // Sep 5, 2008 at 5:19 am
I have sent your URL to so many people - it literally makes me cry with laughter everytime I look at it! Very very pleased to have you back.
14 Mig // Sep 24, 2008 at 8:09 am
I love your website. Thought you should know that Quality Street is not Manglish! It’s a popular confectionary product in Britain.
http://www.qualitystreet.co.uk/home/
15 notevenfluentinenglishbut... // Oct 12, 2008 at 7:02 pm
I was going to point out that Quality Street was british, but someone beat me to it.
And if you ask me, some of the most famous perfumes from reputed houses have weirder names than “Insurrection” or even “One man Show”. What about l’Anarchiste, En Avion, Poison, Egoïste, Insolence, D’Humeur Massacrante?
16 Carol the Archaeologist // Oct 15, 2008 at 12:50 pm
OK. I have caved. Was NEVER going to darken this website again but somehow, in some strange masochistic way I am drawn to it over and over again - on the faintest, remotest off-chance that you may have posted something. Anything.
Listen, if you don’t want to see us any more - just say so. We’ll cry a lot, have a few drinks and get over you. But at least we’ll KNOW and can move on with our pathetic lives.
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