“Strength is Happiness. Strength is itself victory. In weakness and cowardice there is no happiness. When you wage a struggle, you might win or you might lose. But regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being.” — Daisaku Ikeda
“The first and best victory is to conquer self;” — Plato
A year ago, I was worried about a slight weight gain as we left for China.
Today, I weigh a LOT more. What the hell happened?
“We just had a kid,” I thought. “It’s sympathy weight. Or maybe it’s the stress of landing work and doing work.” I blamed my wife, my traveling, the Holidays, my friends. “I can’t fast on my trip / during the wedding / during BootCamp.” I blamed my apartment’s proximity to an otaku-with-a-sweet-tooth’s wet dream. “I’ll start on Monday / after I finish this Halloween candy / when I eat all the cake I just bought.” I rationalized, I sulked, I ignored. And guess what? The problem didn’t go away.
This is called the downward spiral; a feedback loop from which few escape. Bad habits cause bad feelings which spur bad habits ad nauseam. Instead of looking the problem square in the eye, I played dumb. “I know, I know - don’t worry. I’m on it.” That’s what I said to everyone, but in reality, I had no visibility into how bad the problem had gotten. I had a rough idea (two pants sizes) but the spiral was slow, and so tasty. The spiral is a reactive, animal thing. Creatures are dragged around by their instincts without choice, but as humans, we can choose. We don’t always do it, but we can.
Commercial pilots can make over 200k per year, but computers can take off and land planes pretty easily now. So why are they paid so much?
They’re not paid for the good times. They’re paid for disaster; for the hope that in the split second between death and life, they can apply their training and do the weird thing, the counterintuitive thing, the human thing. To turn into a spiral, breaking the cycle and freeing the plane.
In a car, driving on ice, sliding around, about to crash - anyone would slam on the brakes, sealing their doom. Someone pilot-like could apply the gas and perhaps save everyone. That’s what a pilot does. And that’s why they’re so valuable. When needed, they do the weird thing.
It doesn’t matter how much you’ve screwed up, slacked off, shirked duty. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been since you last worked out, saw the dentist, went to an AA meeting. It doesn’t matter how far you’ve fallen. Wallowing is the spiral. The only decision before you is : “What do I do right now to save my ass?”
And so it’s with a pissed determination I activate the “fasten your meat belts” sign. I’m pulling myself out of this spiral. If you’re in the same boat, join me. Let’s be humans.
15 responses so far ↓
1 Edubya // Nov 11, 2007 at 9:51 pm
Three weeks ago, I decided that I was going to pretend that I am training for a movie role, in which I have a 20 minute fight scene…in my underwear. This was supposed to motivate me.
It has worked to a degree, but I’m all for committing to accountability. I’m also logging my weight online…publicly…to be mocked worldwide.
2 Vigilante // Nov 13, 2007 at 6:43 pm
Edubya, where are you logging your weight? I might be able to help you with the mocking ‘n such.
Yeah, like I’m one to talk. Hello, BEER. Goodbye yoga body.
Seriously though, Jon. Two pant sizes? I know you lost a lot a while ago, but are two pant sizes really enough to make you want to Sweat to the Oldies? Sugar is to blame. Cut out sugar. Substitute it with beer.
Yeah, I know beer sucks in coffee, but you could always cut out the coffee….
3 Vigilante // Nov 13, 2007 at 6:48 pm
And PS:
The kids are gorgeous. So is the wife. Not that I’m making a pass.
OK, I’m making a pass. Where do you live again?
Focus on the family, not the fluffiness.
And be well.
4 Edubya // Nov 14, 2007 at 10:26 am
@vigilante I’m the youngest of three kids. I was raised on Mock.
I’m tracking at zealog.com It’s in super secret beta stage, but I’m sure it will be open to drive by mocking soon.
5 Wildone // Nov 20, 2007 at 5:59 pm
Damn the same thing happens to me..grrrr Im still at the bottom of my spiral though..makin excuses:-S
6 Christian // Nov 23, 2007 at 12:54 am
I’m joining you. 10 kilo gained in the last year because of…. oh well.
7 Rocco // Nov 26, 2007 at 6:17 am
Let’s face it, we may be human after all. I’ll keep trying if you will…the new big man in Foshan.
8 Jeff Winkler // Dec 12, 2007 at 1:17 pm
For what it’s worth, the Shangrila diet really works for me. A shot of flax seed oil a day and I’m just not hungry. Total mind/body hack.
9 Vigilante // Jan 1, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Happy Gwailo New Year, Jon!
10 Ryan Rutherford // Jan 6, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Happy New Year Jon. Hope all is well with you and the family.
11 MadMolecule // Jan 14, 2008 at 11:45 pm
Just found your site for the first time; great writing! (And this comes from a former university-level English professor, so you know I’m clueless.) I’ll be reading eagerly.
12 Rene // Jan 31, 2008 at 1:10 am
This stumbling may steal time, but every now and then you come across a pearl in the ocean of the Internet like this.
13 Tom // Feb 2, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Losing weight is no different than quitting smoking or drinking…
Yo Jon, kick some ass fat!
14 Arlen // Feb 4, 2008 at 5:40 am
Hey Jon, you okay? Did you turn into “Pearl” from Blade?
15 Judith in Umbria // Apr 8, 2008 at 4:47 am
I quit smoking in January. Argh! Must diet! I am a seasonal chef and my season is just starting, must diet!
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