Some of my readers are strange - like the lonely South Asian doctor looking for a British Wife.
Dr. mahendra sharma (mahendra_sharma97@[removed].com) on Wednesday, October 11, 2006 at 07:42:48
Subject: marry with english lady
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ready for marry
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But the vast majority are good people, similarly tickled and fascinated by the ways the most widely-used language on Earth is tortured and twisted and mistranslated into Manglish Here are some generous submissions from Arlen, Anthony Dawson, Steph Z Guan, Thomas Waldron, and Halima Brewer. Thanks for sending these in, folks!
I’m firmly of the belief that any danger sign should be understood at a glance. For this, I’d have to break out my word-of-the-day calendar. By then, I may already be dead.
Baby Pudgy should come with baby glucophage and a baby stomach staple.
Whatever happened to, “Give a hoot, don’t pollute?”
What’s with all these barbarian tourists they’re talking about? Are the Vikings back? Horned helmets and fanny packs?
You’re no fun - the only reason I came here was to fall down.
Fatal Drawing? What manner of creature lives in the Bridge Kiosk anyway?
Somewhere there’s a flower with John Travolta’s face. John Woo should be ashamed of himself, if not for the flower defacing, then for this line from, “Hard Target,” his first US movie. A lady is asking the mulleted Jean Claude van Damme about his past.
“Why are you named Chance?”
“My Momma took one.”
Shame on you, John. Shame.
Hi Labrador! I’m Golden Retriever, of the Minneapolis Retrievers. Awfully kind of the person who submitted his to blur the pedestrian, though I’m not sure it was necessary. It’s not like the guy’s shirt said, “I’m Hamas,” or “I’m IRA,” or “I’m Mormon.”
Lilang definitelty guided me to comprehend life and enjoy the grace feeling. i owe her everything. What is she, you ask? Why she’s a pair of khakis, of course. I ooze Sagacity.
Trust No One.
I can’t resort? No pitchmen? This place sucks! Come on, let’s go spit in the stairwell.
Go see if Isaac and Captain Stubing are ready to depart.
If it’s safe, why does it need attention? WHAT ARE YOU NOT TELLING ME DOCTOR?
Whoa there, Typhoid Mary - I’m not sucking any kind of phenol, even to protect the wet composition. And since when does Small Pox have MILK? That must taste glossily.
Tasty Couture.
very subtle.
Anthony Dawson says, “On returning to my room I found this under my door :-)” It’s good to know the Chinese have solved the Bealth Care Crisis. How many people order the “Male Sexual Funtion Obstacle?” “Hi - yeah, my libido is out of control - can you send up some Estrogen and Hugh Grant movies?” Or is it some sort of outdoor Boot Camp for people with Erectile Dysfunction? I’m intrigued…
JET THIS MATTER AROUND PUBES THEN THE MAGICAL IMPRESSION WILL APPEAR AMID FIVE OR TEN MINUTES. I don’t care what it is - any matter jetted around pubes will likely have the same effect. This is genius - “caduceus flower of coition?” “The woman of erotic apathy is remedied to be classy?” I don’t need to add anything - I say it aloud and can’t stop laughing. excuse me while I wait for my magical impression. Here it comes…
37 responses so far ↓
1 Charlie Huang // Jan 21, 2007 at 8:47 am
My sides are aching! Hahahaha!
2 Vigilante // Jan 21, 2007 at 9:54 am
I still want to know what kind of drawing or painting could be fatal. Not sure I want to take my sketchpad out after reading that…
How’s the wife, Jon?
3 Christian // Jan 21, 2007 at 11:59 am
The vikings didn’t wear horns. That’s ironage fashion.
4 Kater // Jan 22, 2007 at 5:02 pm
I’m going to my local pharmacy immediately to get some “milk of small pox”. I think this is a must for any first aid kit.
5 Tom Buckley // Jan 23, 2007 at 10:15 am
Holy cow, I can’t stop laughing! I just jetted some diet coke around my keyboard.
6 Brendan // Feb 12, 2007 at 11:18 pm
That “Don’t fall down” sign appeared in the latest issue of Time (at least here in Australia). Where’s it from?
7 Anonymous // Feb 24, 2007 at 3:23 pm
No offense, but if you’re going to poke fun at others’ abuse of English, yours must basically be perfect. You misspelled “definitely” just below the Lilang picture.
Other than that nitpick, this is hilarious. Although I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t let that stuff in the last entry anywhere near my pubes.
8 Anonymous // Mar 22, 2007 at 7:13 am
C’mawn, Jon!
It’s been over 2 months already.
Can’t go through these withdrawals any longer!
9 Mads Blenner // Apr 9, 2007 at 2:53 pm
Love these pics, great stuff as always
About the “service slip” Male sexual obstacle, I’m guessing is the usual massage choices one can get. Testicular, full body or thai and so on..
Dont even wanna know about the “Young Russian Lady” lol
10 Anonymous // Apr 18, 2007 at 2:01 pm
“Anthropometrics”?
Yeah, well you can all go yiff in hell. Furfags.
11 Gary // May 19, 2007 at 11:17 am
That’s the thing now…pixelate everything! protect everyone!
Everytime you watch a tv show everyone and every license plate, every brand name, even dogs faces are pixelated!
12 Allison McDonough // Aug 27, 2007 at 8:55 am
Thank you!
13 Isaac Torres // Aug 28, 2007 at 1:12 am
I am so thankful for finding your website!
14 Charlotte Nascimento // Aug 28, 2007 at 2:57 am
Well done!
15 Hjzeoala // Aug 28, 2007 at 4:37 pm
Thank you for your site.
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16 fjkls // Sep 5, 2007 at 8:45 pm
haha love the pubes thing
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35 maya // May 13, 2008 at 9:03 am
hahaha that is absolutely hilarious. great pictures and insights =)
36 Iain // Aug 16, 2008 at 9:08 am
It’s been a while since I checked out your site, but just wanted to thank you for spreading such delight around the world in the power of a carelessly misused word. I really enjoy - not just the signs, stickers and labels which you so joyously post, but the commentary which goes with it, which so often takes my amusement level up from “It’s ok, no-one can see that I’m taking a break from work” to “Oh heck, I just fell off my chair from laughter.”
Thank you once again - keep up the fabulous work.
37 mikle // Aug 26, 2008 at 3:05 am
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