A friend of mine had his kung fu teacher write, “Fighting Monk” in Chinese for a tattoo. It appears here on the left. He asked which characters meant what, and then took it upon himself to SWAP OUT one character in “monk” with the one for “Buddha.” He said he wanted it to mean “Fighting God.” What he’s left with on his right arm is gibberish - it means something like, “Fighting Combine Buddha.” Don’t try to make it make sense - it doesn’t.
Let’s call this friend, “X.” X and “M” are talking in China. M is half Chinese. Both are here on a kung fu trip. M marvels that X hasn’t learned even one word of either Mandarin or Cantonese, or even tried much of the food. X retorts with, “What have you done to learn the culture? What Chinese tattoos do you have??”
a) as if that means anything.
b) this coming from the walking typo.
c) people who adopt absolutely everything from eastern cultures to seem wise or exotic are sad. (Does this apply to me?)
d) you don’t see Chinese people getting inked with the golden arches or the CBS eye to seem cool, do you?
Luckily, the Chinese do put Manglish everywhere to seem cool. This was a huge mural on the wall of a kickboxing studio.
This wine is degusting. Or are we the ones who are degusting?
you first.
Crappers without Borders. Does this mean there are no walls? or no obstacle course?
Really, as if the Chinese toilet situation couldn’t get any worse…
Do they have a clown problem?
Three words I never thought I’d see on a shirt.
Intellect Biscuits, brought to you by Ego. QEDelicious!
“Belief Oneself - Stop Never.” Isn’t that from Hoosiers?
I’m guessing these shoes are meant to stay in the closet.
while these are meant to rule over all time and space.
But am I turstworthy?
hold on, if anything’s being detonated, shouldn’t we take a vote?
yeah i could use some warm advice right now.
wait - do you know something I don’t? OK, then, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow…. stay tuned, folks - I have much more, prepped and ready to go - and this time I mean it. Thanks for leaving the comments telling me to get off of my ass, and thanks for your submissions - all will appear before long. peace.
9 responses so far ↓
1 Gregg // Dec 15, 2006 at 1:29 pm
If ever I get a tattoo, it should be a Manglish phrase. Both “Warm Advice” and “Drinking Room” are strong candidates.
2 Anonymous // Dec 17, 2006 at 11:29 pm
Hey, isn’t degusting actually a correct, if seldom used, word used as in “we went to a wine degustation in a cave’in …”?
3 Tom Buckley // Dec 18, 2006 at 12:09 am
Speaking of stupid “intelligent eastern tats”, I found out a few weeks ago that my friend’s wife, a lawyer in Michigan, got a tattoo after she received her juris doctorate….right above her “area” on her “hip”.
It reads “justice” apparently…
My girlfriend told me privately that the tattoo reads “court” and not the law court but the place where you grow plants…like “courtyard”.
Is it wrong that I find a smart girl advertising fertile “planting space” really hilarious?
4 Kater // Dec 18, 2006 at 10:54 am
I would mow down my own granny to procure me some ‘Omnipotence Shoes’. Actually, I’m pretty sure they sell them in Chinatown. Omnipotence shoes with brocade stitching!
5 Jorit // Dec 20, 2006 at 1:56 am
How cool would I be when I take some intellect biscuits and than go on to buy some omnipotent shoes? That’s right, I would be so damn cool I need a tat saying refridgerator or something!
6 Tim Chuma // Dec 20, 2006 at 6:42 am
I would really like to visit Hong Kong, my friend said you could spend a month there easily (he did for a subject in his MBA and had a great time.) I would like to go to Taiwan and Southern China and also Korea due to the movie industry.
7 Anonymous // Dec 21, 2006 at 7:49 am
18:00pm - 21:00pm.
I thought it was either 18:00 - 21:00 OR 6:00pm - 9:00pm.
Either they’ve manglished the time or they run on a 48hr clock
Love your Manglish examples, Jon
8 Dakiwiboid // Dec 22, 2006 at 4:49 pm
Yup, degusting is actually OK. It just means “tasting”. As for “Barrier Free Toilet”, I used to see “Barrier-Free” signs in the U.S. a lot. It means that there aren’t any obstacles for people in wheelchairs or with crutches, etc.
9 curiousgreeneyes // Jun 13, 2007 at 5:04 pm
I reached the point where just reading the titles of new categories leaves me in stitches, but the shoes… it’s 1 am here n im sure i just woke up few households around… but when i saw the ruksack i just detonated… i have this thing to get in stiches just remembering something very funny… should avoid public transport at any cost now… bless you!
Leave a Comment