It was a night like any other – people inviting us out to a steakhouse. We get there, we are seated in a private room. All was well. Niceties aside, we prepare to order. I ask my wife what I should get. She says, “Go ahead and look at the menu – it’s in English.”
“Oh Really?”
I started out chuckling, then got progressively louder each time.
Yeah, that sounds like a bargain item.
“I think I’ll have the cowboy pick, or maybe the cowboy LEG?!?! I really wish I could shit you.”
What’s in a rurality salad? Country Music and buckshot?
I was so stunned by the English blunders herein, I had to buy the menu from them. Can you imagine the scene when that happened? I’ll never forget it. They couldn’t decide whether to be flattered or confused.
The Bcabe’s connected to the… um…
Can I get Retchup on the side?
I’m not quite that hungry, thanks.
Um… Is this vegetarian, then?
I didn’t know cucumbers had feet, let alone hooves.
what’s with all the verbs? But man, you had me at sweet and sour bone.
Bartender, I’ll have the usual!
wow, they love their cowboy meat here.
hold the foliage please.
Am I the only one turned on now? Guys? Anyone?
1 article pot: hometown? what the shit?
the scorn adds that little extra kick.
Nah, I think I’ll just have a Papsi.
maybe they should eat more words plum.
I’m starting to get nauseous at this point, but I’m still laughing. It gets better.
Wow – glad to know there are three “ignedients,” but what ARE THEY?
Aren’t these kung fu moves?
Is this like supersizing or what?
Do French Crips do drive-bys as well?
Do I order this or agree with it?
Does anyone order the “Strange Flavour of inside Freasure?”
man fruit? is that a euphemism?
Double boiled frog for dessert? does that come ala commode?
mordacity: a disposition to biting. Well, I should hope so. It’s a PIZZA – does it come in suppository form?
well, then, what the hell is it?
black bowel and cowboy leg? Add candlelight and you have yourself a date.
Isn’t this a show on CBS?
I passed on this.
lol. just pure lol.
how do you numb vegetables? and what’s fuck silk? satin?
What happens if I get that to go?
and with that, I’m stuffed. Duck Bukkake always makes me feel full.
holy fuck! I am sitting in the library shaking and crying. People are looking, staring, and probably pointing. This is GREAT!
I would like to borrow a small jpeg to point some friends (or non-friendly people who stop by my blog)if that’s ok?
Please post morelike this!
The guy, or woman, that said this was fake is a proponent of reverse racism. Trying to pick a fight. I know of no other culture that makes more fun of itself and its mistakes and I was raised in Southeast Asia. This person needs to take a chill pill, I think it was #43 on the menu. And if he/she can’t translate that … fuck off…start trouble back in your own country. I think they tolerate disssention in China about as liberally as you tolerate this posting.
What’s with the letters? (word verificcation)
had to delete a few comments – some numbnuts posted 3 MEGABYTES of “Woooooot” after a few others had done nearly the same. I’m watching the comments now. More Mangled English coming soon – I have TONS!
–Jon Rahoi
I laughed so hard at this I nearly punctured a lung. Good stuff.
Every Form Rape should be something like “All Kinds of Rapeseed” (literally oily plant.)
omg!!! This is so damn funny! Those guys really have to go for english classes…
A couple of my favorites from China-
In a shop called “Many Girl”
Please do not touch yourself
Let us help you to do it
And the main sign of quite a large hospital
The Arsehole Hospital
The last has since been changed and now reads The Anal Hospital.
Keep it up its all fun
Absolutely hilarious. Dave Barry is an amazing source of cultural craziness. Read his book Dave Barry Does Japan for the best book I have read on Japanese culture. Be prepared to laugh yourself hoarse.
I live on the Chinese mainland and see this kind of thing all the time.
I agree that this was probably manually translated by someone with the aid of a machine translator. And while I am sure his English is better than my Chinese the guy needs a proof reader.
I haven’t laughed this hard since I watched the English subtitled version of Star Wars: http://www.onemanbandwidth.com/wordpress/?p=118
Nihao from China.
LON
Wait! You are Dave Barry!
Juice of steams the fish mouth
HAHAHAHA! What? This is genius. There’s a french lemonade called “Pschitt” (pron. Shit) which I always buy loads of whenever I’m over there.
Did anyone else notice the fucking “blah blah blah Taiwan sausage (3T) THAT MEANS THREE FUCKIN’ TONS!!! sooo, in conclusion….lo friggin’ l!
I just laughed so much I cried! Yay to b3ta for linking to you!!
Even the Chinese is not fully accurate at parts. I wonder why they chose to use words that sounds the same rather than actual names.
E.g, Tuna fish isn’t written like that. There’s a Chinese word for it.
I am in High School and I was in class “listening” to the teacher talk while reading this. At first I disguised the laugh as a cough but twords the end I busted! The teacher was like “what the h**l are you looking at”. Which made me laugh even more. Thanks!!!!!!
This is hilarious! As if the menu wasn’t funny enough, the comments were even funnier.
Question: There are many references to a menu item called Duck Bukkake, but I cannot find it on the menu; where is it?
Thanks for the laugh!
I think I just got a hankering for some rurality salad.
Oh, God, this is hilarious… I can’t believe they translated the words ”directly” into English…
Just one question – what did you actually order?
Just one question – what did you order?
wow.
wow.
Man, I can’t recall having laughed that hard, well, ever! You just made my year!
I’d like to order the ‘fuck the salt (beautiful pole) duck chin’, but hold the chin. And can I choose the size of my beautiful pole, it’s been a while. And won’t the salt sting?
I’m reading this a second time, and tears are still streaming down my face.
OMG SO FUNNY!!! we have all fallen off our chairs, ellie hyperventilated (twice) and charlie, i, squeeked, once to many a time, kate could not breathe – thank you fo giving us all our lives a purpose, LAUGHTER! heheheheheheheheheheheheheh , ow! my sides hurt…
Carbon Burns Black Bowel!!
That sounds like hell!.. for only 3.8
This is the best thing I’ve ever seen.
“Well, as far as fakes go, this is one of the more amusing ones. I still a amazed at how many people still do this to make Chinese people seem continually unable to master the English language. I mean, am I the only one who is getting a little tired of this form of racism??
Well, judging by the comments here, yes I am. oh well.
Keep makin’ shit up I guess. People seem to enjoy it. Just please, try to get in a little more practice on your PhotoShop. you can see the haze (and in some cases, even a freaking SQUARE) around the letters and characters. At least make these so that non Mandarin speakers won’t know what’s happening.”
GIMME A BREAK. ITS FUNNY AND IN NO WAY DIRECTED TOWARDS RACISM. I WAS NOT OFFENDED…I LAUGHED SO HARD I ALMOST WET MYSELF. I WOULD LOVE TO TRY COWBOY LEG BEAUTIFUL POLE WITH A SIDE OF DUCK BUKKAKE, PLEASE.
OMG
I haven’t EVER laughed so hard in my entire life…I wonder if my school’s computers will let us go to this site…
Anyways, thanks for the laughs!
I’m absolutely wetting myself, i think the comments made by the narrator add an element to it too!!!!! please please please give me more!!!!!!
i just cant stop laughing.
did they know no english at all cos its the same kind of quality translating as these online translator things
Holy Flirking Shnit, that’s messed up. how exactly do you “fuck the salt”?
Oh, Thank you! Having made my own mistakes in learning a foreign language I assure you I’m laughing WITH, not AT. Anyone who has offered their underpants as cleaning rags or called a priest a Pimp cannot ever laugh AT.
But I laughed WITH so much that I couldn’t see to read more! This is marked a favorite! Casey
Great! I am proficient in chinese and english and can’t stop laughing at the translation….must be using some online translation service…
thanks for sharing!
real or fake who cares, it made me laugh and i am sure others also, life is short be happy. words do lose in translation, same for spanish.
.
The people that think this posting is racist… are silly. You know, if I planned on opening an American restaurant in China… I would LEARN SOME CHINESE first. Otherwise, I just might look like a jackass and I would expect some ribbing from the locals when I accidentally mislabel my sausage as “roast donkey penis”, etc.
And, yes, I do understand that there are more socioeconomic factors that can hinder language adoption in China, etc. BUT, English is relatively easy to learn and it’s very accessible. I’m not saying that everyone HAS to learn English before coming to America… but they certainly SHOULD if they want to eat fuck less cowboy leg strange. And the same goes for Americans tromping around in other countries. Cultural respect is a two-way street.
- Cowicide (extreme moderate)
http://iamtv.tv
.
“Cowboy” is not lamb, as one poster suggested, it’s veal.
I had my own menu favorites from our years in Japan (such as “mashed bee”), but this selection is tops!
Lol. ‘Fuck the salt’ Is that healthy?
Dude. It’s so not racist. Stop being so politically correct. I thought it was fecking hilarious. Especially the ‘benumbed hot vegetables fries fuck silk’ Can carrots even THINK about that kind of stuff!? Lmao. Keep it coming, dudes.
COWBOY LEG!
I think these were all translated by an American who called themself as “Chinese Experts”, they live in China, Hong Kong or Taiwan and teaching English for living, but most of them can’t or only read a little bit of Chinese, according to the list of the menu, they are not tranditional Chinese characters, those Chinese characters were invented by Hong Kong people, you can’t find those characters in the Chinese dictionnary,the translation in English are using the word that are not common to any Chinese, I don’t think a Chinese person can comes up with this kind of translation. Open your mind and think, if this make sense to you at all. These translation were done by a non-responsible American.
Well, as far as fakes go, this is one of the more amusing ones. I still a amazed at how many people still do this to make Chinese people seem continually unable to master the English language. I mean, am I the only one who is getting a little tired of this form of racism??
Well, judging by the comments here, yes I am. oh well.
Keep makin’ shit up I guess. People seem to enjoy it. Just please, try to get in a little more practice on your PhotoShop. you can see the haze (and in some cases, even a freaking SQUARE) around the letters and characters. At least make these so that non Mandarin speakers won’t know what’s happening.
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whoever wrote that i have thing to say, who the fuck cares. u gotta admit its funny. u prolly wouldnt think like that if it was some indian restaurant menue with the same mistakes and if it is fake it still made a lot of ppl laugh and that’s all that should matter. im half chinese myself and i wasnt thinking for 1 second the person who post this up was racist, its just a joke. He prolly found something funny and just wanted to share this with everybody…so if u dunt want to see “shit” like this dunt bother coming into sites like this
anywayz lol…this site honestly made my day
ROFL! This is great! thank you for making my day!
“FRUIT IN EYES!!!”
Brilliant stuff. It looks like the entire thing was run through Babelfish.
They are just trying to make it easier for you guys. Be nice and don’t be so mean on the translation.
Bukkake is a type of soba noodle, you tools.
I am putting replica manhole covers and sewers in Asia. If you want to send one to Japan, then guess what? It’s going to Japan.
I’m hungry
I’m chinese but grew up in Australia and I could actually read the chinese part of the menu and I find it so hilarious. My entire family is having a ball reading this. When we went to visit in China couple of years back I noticed that alot of places has really bad English translations posted for whatever reason. Is actually very embarrassing because people then think all Chinese people are like that.