It was a night like any other – people inviting us out to a steakhouse. We get there, we are seated in a private room. All was well. Niceties aside, we prepare to order. I ask my wife what I should get. She says, “Go ahead and look at the menu – it’s in English.”
“Oh Really?”
I started out chuckling, then got progressively louder each time.
Yeah, that sounds like a bargain item.
“I think I’ll have the cowboy pick, or maybe the cowboy LEG?!?! I really wish I could shit you.”
What’s in a rurality salad? Country Music and buckshot?
I was so stunned by the English blunders herein, I had to buy the menu from them. Can you imagine the scene when that happened? I’ll never forget it. They couldn’t decide whether to be flattered or confused.
The Bcabe’s connected to the… um…
Can I get Retchup on the side?
I’m not quite that hungry, thanks.
Um… Is this vegetarian, then?
I didn’t know cucumbers had feet, let alone hooves.
what’s with all the verbs? But man, you had me at sweet and sour bone.
Bartender, I’ll have the usual!
wow, they love their cowboy meat here.
hold the foliage please.
Am I the only one turned on now? Guys? Anyone?
1 article pot: hometown? what the shit?
the scorn adds that little extra kick.
Nah, I think I’ll just have a Papsi.
maybe they should eat more words plum.
I’m starting to get nauseous at this point, but I’m still laughing. It gets better.
Wow – glad to know there are three “ignedients,” but what ARE THEY?
Aren’t these kung fu moves?
Is this like supersizing or what?
Do French Crips do drive-bys as well?
Do I order this or agree with it?
Does anyone order the “Strange Flavour of inside Freasure?”
man fruit? is that a euphemism?
Double boiled frog for dessert? does that come ala commode?
mordacity: a disposition to biting. Well, I should hope so. It’s a PIZZA – does it come in suppository form?
well, then, what the hell is it?
black bowel and cowboy leg? Add candlelight and you have yourself a date.
Isn’t this a show on CBS?
I passed on this.
lol. just pure lol.
how do you numb vegetables? and what’s fuck silk? satin?
What happens if I get that to go?
and with that, I’m stuffed. Duck Bukkake always makes me feel full.
wow, fuck the salt( beautiful pole) duck chin! you don’t need the duck chin! I guess the salt that I will fuck has a beautiful pole! I’m looking forward to that!
Lol! “Good to eat mountain”? Sorry, but my teeth aren’t up for that. “Every form rape”? OMG, ROFLMAO. So funny!
There is such a thing as sweet and sour bone. It was on No Reservation with Anthony Bordain and is a very popular dish in some asian countries. People eat the bone marrow of the the bones. So yeah that wasn’t a mistranslation.
to comment #27 and #802,
every form rape was supposed to be different styles of (noun which was translated to rape)
[...] chinese menu [...]
Excellent!
LOL that is so funny!!!!!
i couldn’t stop laughing.
which restaurant is this?? i need to go there myself!!!
[...] Chinese into English translations in reverse: a lot of people who have Chinese characters inked onto their bodies come to find their [...]
Well, then there’s this:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=bLpROhIg9eA
They should found a good Chinese translation company. I recomend Sytra.cn .
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This was quite entertaining, thank you.
To all those who find it offensive, just don’t read it. Quit trying to censor everything you don’t find personally agreeable.
It’s a big internet out there.
Thanks for that, I think I just herniated myself laughing.
This made me fall off my chair, i laughed so hard i couldn’t breath…
Thanks for making my day
=D
im a chinese…..
by reading both languages…..
oh my god.
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha…..
its look like a “brokeback restaurant”
LOL
I have a chest cold right now and almost laughed myself into an asthma attack when I read this post. I literally (and I don’t misuse literally) fell out of my chair, I was laughing so hard. I have sent the URL to everyone I know online–this is just too funny.
As to those who think this is racist, fine you are entitled to your opinions, but life goes by so much more easily if you have a sense of humor.
I can read about four Chinese characters, and say approximately 6 Chinese phrases, so my attempt to translate anything in Chinese would be pretty damn funny too.
For the Chinese who have read this and feel ashamed, please don’t. This menu is hilarious because of the incongruous phrases. This menu doesn’t mean “The Chinese are all stupid because they can’t speak proper English.” but rather “Word by word translation of any language into another results in hilarity.”
I’ve been to China twice and both trips taught me many things, the first and most important thing is that the Chinese are the most gracious people on earth. The second is that I want to learn Chinese well enough to live in China.
Linda
PS American Chinese food is a very, very pale imitation of the real thing. I’ll have the Ginger Bumping Milk and the Fried Beef rice W/scorn and egg, please.
This made my day and saved me from absolute boredom at work…I do read Chinese so it is even funnier. And no, I am not offended.
But speaking of Every Form Rape…rape is actually a very common vegetable eaten by Chinese, esp in the southern part like Hong Kong and Guangdong. Remember rapeseed oil? But I guess it’s funnier when you add the words “every form” in front.
Just Loved it. Sort of speak. The modern world will not take us much further. Cheers.
P.S. Love you apes
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All your base are belong to us.
Actually it looks like they have used some kind of (poor) translation software.
I saw a menu that had Saddam shoots the plants on it
[i]This is not funny at all. And as far as fakes go, this is a good one.
I hate the stereotype all Asians are bad at English, dipshit.
For non mandarin speakers this is the funniest shit in the world but if you understand it, it’s not funny at all.[/i]
It actually makes it more funny, in my opinion.
[i]“Every Form of Rape” being “Choices of Vegetables we Offer”…[/i]
Probably because 油菜 also means rapeseed.
Anyways…
Somebody posted this a while back: http://anthonydawson.thelasis.com/funny/index.htm
Translation:
Male sexual dysfunction obstacle: Assuming the last letter is the simplified Chinese counterpart to 礙, it’s actually quite an accurate translation. It’s probably a treatment of some sort.
The whole body cares to massage: (Whole body) (adj., to describe something one does to keep fit) (Massage) – A whole-body massage that’s intended to keep you fit, presumably.
The foot bottom cares the massage: (of the Netherlands) (Lady) (Massage). Translates to something like ‘A massage for women, in the style of the Netherlands’ (I’m thinking it doesn’t mean ‘Massage by a young woman from the Netherlands’).
The thai bealth care massage: ‘模特’ (the first two characters) is a phrase phonetically based off English, meaning ‘model’ (not airplane/etc models, I mean model (person). The latter (明星, ‘bright star’) also borrows from Western concepts (Stars (person), i.e. pop stars). I have no actual idea what ‘推拿’ means – it literally translates to ‘push-take’, but Chinese phrases often do not take on the meanings of their respective characters. It says massage, though, so I’m assuming it’s some sort of massage. The translation reads something like ‘(A) massage (fit) for celebrities (star/model).
The Russian young lady massage: It’s actually pretty close to its intended meaning. I think it’s ‘A massage for young women, Russian style’ – similar to the ‘foot bottom cares the massage’.
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WOW Ginger Bumping MILK! served HOT!!! LOL Hope the girls name is ginger!
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Well, I guess that I have reasons to believe that menu is not a fake, although quite embarrassing for whoever did the translation/printing… And I have a theory behind it.
I grew up in northern China but lived in Guangzhou (Canton) for 5 years before coming to the U.S. To be honest, I have no idea about some of the items listed in the menu even though I had college education in Chinese. I guess the menu is for a Cantonese style restaurant (and the original author of the Chinese menu, I’m not sure if that’s the chef, is probably from Hong Kong).
That aside, the professor of China studies is right. Someone did a word-by-word literal translation. On top of that, either translator did the translation had terrible handwriting or the printer of the menu (whoever did the typesetting I guess) is totally English-illiterate. That’s probably why Spaghetti was copied to STAGHSSD.
Finally, here is report from my forensic analysis:
1. This episode probably happened in Guangdong province;
2. The restaurant owner, or the chef, developed the original Chinese menu and placed an order with a printing service;
3. The printing service either did the translation in house or contracted the translation to a translation service;
4. Whoever did the translation – barely spoke English but could manage to use a dictionary, and most likely had no idea of the restaurant business. In addition, he/she gave a hard copy of the poor translation to the printing service (it was probably hand-written);
5. The printing service had someone re-enter the translation into their typesetting software from the hard-copy, unfortunately introducing numerous data entry errors;
Now, for the curious:
Cowboy Leg – it actually mean Veal Shank, Round or Sirloin. Obviously there are many more precise words for beef cuts in English than in Chinese. The funny thing here is that first two Chinese characters for this item can be interpreted as “Calf” or “Cowboy” depending on the context;
STAGHSSD – explained above, data entry error. Someone must have had really bad handwriting.
Good to eat Mountain – Here I suspect that the scanning of menu was incomplete and it was probably missing another word. In Chinese, corresponding to Seafood, there is also a term for “Land Delicacies or Mountain Delicacies”. So the term above must have been “Delicious Mountain Delicacies”, which generally mean rare and delicious mushrooms, bamboo shoots, and in some cases, exotic animals.
Haven’t figured out what “Cowboy Leg Beautiful Pole” is, but it looks there were some serious data entry errors in that whole Appetizer section.
“Cowboy Leg Beautiful Pole” could have been “American Style Beef Kabob” but it doesn’t match the Chinese description of the item. It looks like the whole list of appetizers got shifted down by one row.
Well, I justed wasted a prefect hour trying to piece together what must has transpired to give everyone a good laugh over the years
I was doing fine, until I got to the “Benumbed hot vegetables…. “, I can just imagine the chef “benumbing” them!
Truly Funny and I am Obsessed with good and crazy stuff to make you laugh. People always have to remember that. “It’s Only Comedy”.
Don’t be thin skinned and try to make it anything else. Learn to laugh at others and yourself. We all do stupid things and laugh at them later.
I think most of the items sound tasty (smile) but I would definitely avoid the RETCHUP as a condiment. It doesn’t really create a nice visual.
Even though it may enhance the flavor of the Tree Fungus entree.
Thanks for the Post and keep em coming-
from the folks at the
Funniest and Craziest Website around!!
Wow , the scary part is the English versions are probably the real deal and you are actually eating cowboy leg, chicken ear and intestine pot.
My son goes to school now (he left a year ago) in Japan and he has lost 40 pounds already.
Many people in America are always trying to lose weight and the answer may be just visiting another country for awhile.
For those who can’t travel for weight loss a great site that helps is:
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there are more english speaking chinese than in america
You will see a drastic improvement in the menu translations for the Beijing Olympic games next month.
The Beijing municipal government’s foreign affairs office and the Beijing tourism bureau have jointly published a book, Chinese Menu in English Version. It lists 170 pages of Chinese and Western dishes, and beverages. The book will no doubt come in handy to those restaurants that depend on translation software for the English names of dishes. “Government Abused Chicken” is now correctly rendered as Kung Pao Chicken.
They had two dozens translators conducting studies of Chinese restaurants in English-speaking countries, which have distilled the mishmash of translated terms into a more or less universally accepted set of norms.
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Everyone’s a little too… serious about this. I’m Canadian, but is currently residing in China for the summer holidays (seeing as I’m 14 and love being away from my mother xD). I showed this to my dad and his coworkers, all Chinese but know very good English, and thay all DIED laughing. This is not racist or derogatory, in fact, the Chinese laugh at their own mistakes. People are just thinking way too hard about this.
btw. I’m Chinese, and this is too funny. xD;;
“Rape” is “vegetables” — anyone ever heard of rapeseed oil? or broccoli rabe (the Italian equivalent vegetable)?
What I’m wondering about is the “Add sheet iron, 2 yuan”. What on earth is this mistranslating?
[...] Picture adapted from Rahoi.com [...]
Classic page. I’m a translator and deal with these issues, although I don’t know Chinese. It just goes to show how concepts differ in various languages. The results of mistranslation are a pure form of humor, and should not be construed as demeaning to any ethnic group. Remember that story about “grapes of wrath” being translated into Japanese and when re-translated coming back as “angry raisins”?
Looking at this, you can see why the authorities circulated approved translations to restaurants in Beijing in the run-up to the Olympics. I’ve some more example of amusing misunderstandings and talk about the importance of professional translation in a recent post on my blog. All too often, well meaning but hapless on-the-fly or machine translation produces confusion or even loss of business.
I found it funny that you said it was “Strange Flavour of inside Freasure” when it was actually “Strange Flavour of inside Freasuse” with an ‘s’.
And even funnier that the first comment did the same thing.
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[...] stumbled across this blog post that had me laughing and in stitches. I seriously haven’t read anything this funny in a [...]
i freaking love it… i have read it soooooo many times and everytime is still hilarious!
Sounds like a Captain Beefheart song.
Sorry, this is hilarious. Not trying to be mean but it’s kind of irresponsible to translate a menu that way. It does not make any sense and has so many spelling mistakes. Sorry, we would not be laughing if they translate it properly and explaining everything clearly. Easiest way: make up some fancy name, don’t translate if it sounds stupid.
Anyway, good list. I’m a foreigner too, and we translate our language into English sometimes, some of them are very silly and funny, but it’s our fault that we didn’t do the research.
Cheers
OMG! I am going to send you the bill from my doctor for treating my strained abs. It was a *tough* job to stifle my laughter while reading this at work.
What I would like to know is whether that double-boiled frog is crunchy or not. And is it a mock frog?
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This is freaking insane!