It was a night like any other – people inviting us out to a steakhouse. We get there, we are seated in a private room. All was well. Niceties aside, we prepare to order. I ask my wife what I should get. She says, “Go ahead and look at the menu – it’s in English.”
“Oh Really?”
I started out chuckling, then got progressively louder each time.
Yeah, that sounds like a bargain item.
“I think I’ll have the cowboy pick, or maybe the cowboy LEG?!?! I really wish I could shit you.”
What’s in a rurality salad? Country Music and buckshot?
I was so stunned by the English blunders herein, I had to buy the menu from them. Can you imagine the scene when that happened? I’ll never forget it. They couldn’t decide whether to be flattered or confused.
The Bcabe’s connected to the… um…
Can I get Retchup on the side?
I’m not quite that hungry, thanks.
Um… Is this vegetarian, then?
I didn’t know cucumbers had feet, let alone hooves.
what’s with all the verbs? But man, you had me at sweet and sour bone.
Bartender, I’ll have the usual!
wow, they love their cowboy meat here.
hold the foliage please.
Am I the only one turned on now? Guys? Anyone?
1 article pot: hometown? what the shit?
the scorn adds that little extra kick.
Nah, I think I’ll just have a Papsi.
maybe they should eat more words plum.
I’m starting to get nauseous at this point, but I’m still laughing. It gets better.
Wow – glad to know there are three “ignedients,” but what ARE THEY?
Aren’t these kung fu moves?
Is this like supersizing or what?
Do French Crips do drive-bys as well?
Do I order this or agree with it?
Does anyone order the “Strange Flavour of inside Freasure?”
man fruit? is that a euphemism?
Double boiled frog for dessert? does that come ala commode?
mordacity: a disposition to biting. Well, I should hope so. It’s a PIZZA – does it come in suppository form?
well, then, what the hell is it?
black bowel and cowboy leg? Add candlelight and you have yourself a date.
Isn’t this a show on CBS?
I passed on this.
lol. just pure lol.
how do you numb vegetables? and what’s fuck silk? satin?
What happens if I get that to go?
and with that, I’m stuffed. Duck Bukkake always makes me feel full.
Holy crap, and it should be a dish. Maybe in a Shanghai worshiphallmosquetavernsushihouse. Too funny, thanks a bunch! Wonder if it is feasible to eat a while cattlefish in one sitting.
i am sitting in my office…crying. literally. had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing so loud that the entire building would come to see what the hell my problem is. That was priceless…and a much needed break!
Why do people get so turned on when they get to use the word “FUCK”?
This is an example of Underlife? Min wants to know.
Wow. This has to be one of the funniest things i have ever read. Thank you for posting this.
Um, Hi there, I’d like to order one Cowboy leg beautiful pole, and a side of every form of rape…oh…and can I Add a peaceful? Thanks a bunch.
So what did you wind up ordering, and what was it when you got it????
The problem with us, westerners, is that we are so convinced of our own superiority that we do not see how culturally arrogant we are. We also tend to attribute a lot of truth to our own thoughts, views and opinions …
Seeking the path of conflict and discussion is also a typical western disease.
I laughed so hard I worked up an appetite. Unfortunately, there wasn’t anything appealing on the menu!
Oh, and John, please provide your definition of fun if you could please. Your philosophical views seem to throw a wet blanket onto the general atmosphere in this blog space.
The menu is an object containing machine tranlations. Had the restaruant proprieter invested time and expense to tranlate the Chinese menu to true English selections instead of literal machine translations, most of us would not be here blogging about how funny the machine tranlated menu is and you would be elsewhere lecturing about Western superiority, cultural arrogance, and typical paths to conflict.
What the fuck does superioity, et. al, have to do with machines and menus?
Should everyone be offended by your castigations upon Western culture or just some of us that tire of senseless spewing.
Lighten up!……You can exist with less perceived bitterness in you life.
Take a friend out to a culturally rich resturant.
By the way, your opening statement containing the phrase “the problem with us, westerners, is………..” is not properly punctuated. Study it and figure it out yourself, as should be done also with your personal views.
Your Hero,
Jerry
OH MY GOD
thats absolutely hilarious and i do not laugh easy =P
LOVE it
*stumbled* (Y)
- IrishGirl
[...] Trent Reznor learned so well…-PointDev to Sony BMG: Busted!-Now THIS is fucked up…-Engrish can be fun.-Dead Fantasy… not much of a DoA fan, but this was a cool video.-Maybe if they [...]
hwegGEWFS-EDHFASIØEHG
I think this restaurant is in China because of the price tag.
First of all i’m chinese. However the english translation seem very funny. I probably lmao when i see such menu. I mean they really translate word-to-word exactly same.
But chinese dish have so many weird name because some of dish have history. The name of the dish doesn’t apply to the dish.
Let me give you an example.. some of a dish call “Buddha Jump Over the Wall” (google it u find what ingredient) does it really mean a budda jump the wall?
How i translate a dish with such weird name.. i would just translate word to word..
This is the best stuff I have read in ages… I need more of this…after i get some “Fuck the salt( beautiful pole ) duck chin”
post number 765!!! YAY!!! heh….7654321….
this was ok funny
stop being so childish people .. ’tis very hilarious! haha. can’t stop laughing. c’mon give yourself a break.
WHy are people stressing all the time about english mistakes. Try writing in another language, you can’t you suck then, I want you dead too….No just kidding i don’t watn anyone dead, i want peace on earth, actually I want happpiness for the entire world but everyone gotta start looking to be happy everyday or you are living the life your parents wanted for yoy at one point, or if you had really bad parents, at least try to live the happy and good you’re bad parents once wanted for themselves. Anyways I must be POST 767, can wait ti Become Post 777 that is a lucky number, buit really no number have luck so don’t believe this lie either you 6/49 lottery players you will win when you image it already that you have, you will win, tust I won $10 last week and 2 free tickets, I am winning the big when I find the time to play.
Oh man, I love this one so much. I’ve read this particular entry at least 20 times and I still find myself laughing everytime and showing it to more and more friends. Just the thought of having a menu that told me those things always makes me smile, and for some reason it always gets me hard at Pizza LThick Mordacity and the Cashew Not. I laugh at those 2 so hard it hurts.
Fuck the salt!!! I can’t stop laughing! I love pointing out menu errors to the point of being annoying to my future wife! I have got to send her this link!
Thanks for the belly laughs!
OMG it’s been awhile since I have laughed this hard. I should never read funnies on my laptop while drinking Diet Dr. Pepper. LOL
most retarded interpretation that I’ve seen.
for people ignorant of languages and linguistics. anyone that looks more into these words would know that this blogger is using the wrong definitions of the characters.
beautiful, simply beautiful
There is a 25 free online english lessons for chinese learners at Mandarin English XL
[...] very, very badly translated menu at a Chinese restaurant. There are a couple examples below but click here for the whole menu and commentary by the person who discovered [...]
i loved it. especiallt the “casew not” one keep posting i think everyone loves it
lol
i fink dis very insulting ot my rece, i r goning to lodge a acceptange to dth china bord of raciczm and i hop uoy all suffer
lol WOOOOOT number777
[...] please to try some chigrish: May I take your order? [...]
[...] the Deep South.. Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Miami, FL Age: 29 Posts: 25,129 May I take your order? actual menu. it gets worse and worse. if you don’t want to read it all, skip to the bottom part. a [...]
日: fuck
本: self
日本: fuck yourself
No offense,but it’s just some terrible machine translation.
[...] May I take your order? This entry was posted on Thursday, March 13th, 2008 at 10:58 pm and is filed under Interesting Internet Finds. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. [...]
There’s some dumb-ass comments in here from a bunch of dumb-asses.
Firstly, it’s quite clear English is NOT their mother tongue.
Secondly, some of you dumb f&&ks would eat ANYTHING you could get your hands on if you were hungry enough!
Thirdly, for all you racists… get Fu&ked! Or, find the closest bridge and jump!
Yeah, I’m a honky Yank living in Asia and don’t think this is very funny!
the dalai-lama tells us what he thinks about the olympic games…100% humour
http://www.le-monde-pluriel.eu/content/0/58/
http://fr.youtube.com/watch?v=8LuKdPvVmt8
[...] http://www.rahoi.com/2006/03/may-i-take-your-order/ [...]
This is a good example of the great gap between an ancient people and a people who are still trying to discover who and what they are. These translations are a good metaphor of the West’s inability to understand the ancient east, especially idioms, poetry, and culture
I pissed myself, that was soooo funny! I have sent this too all my friends so they can laugh themselves senseless too. Thank you
Every form rape…WTF what happens if you get that in the drive-thru lol. Anyone who thinks this isn’t funny is a damn butt pirate.
LOL, Cashew Not. Makes me think of Borat.
hi there, a friend showed this to me and we both laughed our asses off. but at the same time i feel ashamed because i am a chinese!
ye, if you can read chinese, you’ll understand why they translate the menu in this way, and
the whole thing will look 10 times funnier i am afraid…
well, seems it’s something stupid but completely harmless that we can’t help to hide from foreigners, i’ll say, enjoy your trip to china and have fun!
Oh ye, there’s not just one resteraunt doing this kinda sh*t..
You WILL enjoy the trip to China,no matter what way u see it.
Is anyone else sick of all the photo shop FLAMERS who go around claiming everything that is funny is photoshopped? Anyone who has been to pretty much any Asian country where they have attempted to translate into English knows that they often get it horribly horribly wrong. In short if you think this is photoshopped you need to get out more and realize this happens A LOT in Asia. Also stop spending all of your time trying to rip on people for “crappy photoshopping” I seriously couldn’t give a shit even if this was fake it is still funny, stop being jerks and ruining everyone else’s fun.
If you are going to take the time and effort to critique a named poster’s effort to illustrate why we should not take ourselves seriously; please have the intestinal fortitude to name yourself. ‘Anonymous’: You are probably one of those folks who pays fifty cents to participate in a poll that requires a “Yes/No” answer and your’s is, “I don’t know”. Anonymous posters are like bird farts, everyone jokes about them, but we all know they don’t exist. Exactly like YOU!
haha! I’ll have a 2005, and don’t forget to send the 1 cup red wine!
Almost funny, but engrish online is such a tired and worn out joke now, none of its funny anymore.
If you’ve never seen harmless chinese words translated into “Fuck” before, then you’re obviously new to the internet.
Wow, this made my day. Ginger bumping milk. Ahah…
My god, this is simply hilarious! Granted, I was in quite a few Chinese restaurants myself and most had menus in “broken english”, but it was nothing even close to this.
Every form rape? No, I don’t think I’d like that
They have 25 free advanced chinese lessons online.
Just starting up a Twitter feed for Engrish.com!
[...] Alright, cheers. I only just noticed a major grammar fuck in one of my posts a page ago. To celebrate that, here is some Engrish: May I take your order? [...]