It was a night like any other – people inviting us out to a steakhouse. We get there, we are seated in a private room. All was well. Niceties aside, we prepare to order. I ask my wife what I should get. She says, “Go ahead and look at the menu – it’s in English.”
“Oh Really?”
I started out chuckling, then got progressively louder each time.
Yeah, that sounds like a bargain item.
“I think I’ll have the cowboy pick, or maybe the cowboy LEG?!?! I really wish I could shit you.”
What’s in a rurality salad? Country Music and buckshot?
I was so stunned by the English blunders herein, I had to buy the menu from them. Can you imagine the scene when that happened? I’ll never forget it. They couldn’t decide whether to be flattered or confused.
The Bcabe’s connected to the… um…
Can I get Retchup on the side?
I’m not quite that hungry, thanks.
Um… Is this vegetarian, then?
I didn’t know cucumbers had feet, let alone hooves.
what’s with all the verbs? But man, you had me at sweet and sour bone.
Bartender, I’ll have the usual!
wow, they love their cowboy meat here.
hold the foliage please.
Am I the only one turned on now? Guys? Anyone?
1 article pot: hometown? what the shit?
the scorn adds that little extra kick.
Nah, I think I’ll just have a Papsi.
maybe they should eat more words plum.
I’m starting to get nauseous at this point, but I’m still laughing. It gets better.
Wow – glad to know there are three “ignedients,” but what ARE THEY?
Aren’t these kung fu moves?
Is this like supersizing or what?
Do French Crips do drive-bys as well?
Do I order this or agree with it?
Does anyone order the “Strange Flavour of inside Freasure?”
man fruit? is that a euphemism?
Double boiled frog for dessert? does that come ala commode?
mordacity: a disposition to biting. Well, I should hope so. It’s a PIZZA – does it come in suppository form?
well, then, what the hell is it?
black bowel and cowboy leg? Add candlelight and you have yourself a date.
Isn’t this a show on CBS?
I passed on this.
lol. just pure lol.
how do you numb vegetables? and what’s fuck silk? satin?
What happens if I get that to go?
and with that, I’m stuffed. Duck Bukkake always makes me feel full.
Day 68 on J&J: Living The Bowel, and J has just emerged from the bathroom after completing a long, hard task.
[...] Some great englrish menu items. [...]
Hilarious…and learn to laugh at yourselves if you find this offensive – if you can’t and think you’re just being proud, you are, in fact, pathetic.
I speak only 3 languages and I’ve certainly been laughed at using one of them but I have never felt offended…it’s a fucking learning process, or in this case not caring about getting someone to translate for you…grow up whiners.
So funny! And all the comments are great too! Thanks for the laughs and please keep it up!
=^_^=
lmao yeah i can see your frustration. i speak 4 languages . the translation IS correct word by word, but the real meaning is lost in the tranlastion. lol its hilarious though. i bet this wasn’t a expensive or formal resturant.
heck they spelled delicious wrong and coca coca?
but i love china, food is really good=)
hahahahahaha.. this is really hillarious..
So funny! And all the comments are great too! Thanks for the laughs and please keep it up!
I am having such a bad week and this really made me crack up, thanks
Im living in Taiwan now and I can totally relate. when you are lucky enough to find a menu in english this is what it reads like. when I ask my friends what something is their favorite response is “made by fish.” what is that supposed to mean?
I have to say that although this was funny as shit, your comments were the best. “Do French Crips do drive-bys as well?”. HAHAHAHAHA!
[...] http://www.rahoi.com/2006/03/may-i-take-your-order/ [...]
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[...] is Chinglish (incorrect English, particularly of the Chinese variety). The other day I came across this blog with a hilarious Chinglish menu on it. I laughed outloud for way longer than is healthy. What was [...]
This isn’t a racist post at all. It highlights just how much we misunderstand each other all around the world and just how humorous it is.
Believe me, until you’ve lived with a French family whose teenaged daughter thought that “f*ck” was an acceptable word to use at the dinner table or have been laughed at (after the looks of abject horror crossed their faces) for asking your host’s mother to pass the condoms (preservatifs=condoms, *not* jam in French) you haven’t lived. ^^
love your Manglish posts Mr. Rahoi!
Hilarious! I was laughing so hard I had tears coming down my cheeks!
OMG, I LIVE IN FOSHAN! I need to go there… where is it? I live in Nanhai, close by any chance?
That aside… English is extremely difficult to learn for Chinese because in English you have -grammar-, something that is practically non-existent in Chinese. As an English teacher in primary school I know exactly where it hurts; the whole idea that you use different words epending on when you did the action is completely foreign.
…Also some of the words that is one word in English is two, three, maybe five ‘words’ in Chinese. (not exactly accurate, but it’s difficult to explain) I would have to say that the person who translated this translated every single Chinese word without knowing that they have a different meaning alone rather than put together.
…I still think it was effing hilarious. I don’t see where the whole racist things comes into this, but damnit, I don’t really care right now. So funny.
…Hey, you -will- tell me where it is? Please?
This has probably been flogged to death on this thread already but the ‘righteously indignant’ posters here are the actually racist ones. The only way you could find this offensive towards the entire Chinese RACE is if you think this implies that Chinese people are actually too stupid to learn proper English and that we’re laughing at their genetic deficiencies. What these jerks fail to realize is that NO language student Chinese or otherwise thinks that you can plug a menu into Google translator and get a perfect English translation. The translators in question just don’t care because the point is not to be accessible for foreigners, it’s to create a cosmopolitan atmosphere. It’s like putting bad latin on the arch of a library in Bumblef*ck USA. It’s there for snob appeal, not to be read by people who need the information. I would be very surprised if the outraged posters here actually speak Chinese or have any decent understanding of Chinese culture. More likely they’re all entirely Americanized Californians who are thrilled to be up in arms about something. Ah, indignation, the tiny bravery of small minds.
Oh and in case I’m wrong about your cultural fluency 我还无所谓你对这件事有什么想法。
Sigart: English is extremely difficult to learn for Chinese because in English you have -grammar-, something that is practically non-existent in Chinese.
I’ll have to disagree with that. Every Chinese dialect has its own grammar – including Mandarin (the Beijing dialect). Sure, each dialect speaker doesn’t think his dialect has any grammatical rules, but that’s kind of like a native of Belfast saying to a Londoner – “I don’t have an accent – you’re the guy with the accent”.
To say that this site is, or is not racist, is incorrect. In the fact that all who read are unique and in fact different. Some laugh at the miscommunication and misunderstanding; others laugh at the ethnic peoples attempting to bridge the cultural gap. The ladder holds my contempt.
In this case, friends, you are your own judge, jury, and executioner. Make sure, however, that you know exactly what you are laughing at. Discrimination is segregation, segregation is abomination. We are what we choose to make of ourselves.
and remember…..
“fuck the salt” eat healthy…. In the words of Ben Johnson and Joanne McCloude, “keep fit, and have fun.”
I can’t stop laughing! This is the funniest I’ve read for a long time!
> Some people wrote that the restaurant at
> least took an effort to translate the menu
> into English
I doubt it. I’m a translator (Chinese to English) by trade.
First, the entire menu looks machine-translated. This takes no effort at all, and avoiding getting the translation done professionally was probably a cost-saving measure. You get what you pay for.
Second, anyone translating into a language that’s not their native tongue who actually cares about the result would have a native speaker check it for errors. If they put any effort into it, they would have had an English-speaker look at it. They didn’t. Why? Laziness, cluelessness, fear of losing face, or plain apathy.
“red date silk-tubed container steams frog” what the hell?
and also what is hometown meant to be in chinese? lmao
also “adding a peaceful” could be of great value in this stressful world
I laughed until my sides ached.
Thank you
[...] P.S. Maybe the misspellers are using the same service that created this menu: [...]
i laughed like i hadn’t in a long, long time.
this just made my lunch that much more enjoyable.
[...] on Chinese restaurant menus. This is, of course, not new (as has, of course, been widely documented), but this particular instance is quite amusing because of the way the word wikipedia shows up in [...]
>First, the entire menu looks machine-translated.
>This takes no effort at all, and avoiding getting
>the translation done professionally was >probably
>a cost-saving measure. You get what you pay for.
>Second, anyone translating into a language that’s
>not their native tongue who actually cares about
>the result would have a native speaker check it for
>errors. If they put any effort into it, they would
>have had an English-speaker look at it. They
>didn’t. Why? Laziness, cluelessness, fear of losing
>face, or plain apathy.
Perhaps…but on the other hand, they’ve gotten
people from around the globe studying and
discussing their product offering. Wish I could do
that for free!
“Second, anyone translating into a language that’s not their native tongue who actually cares about the result would have a native speaker check it for errors. If they put any effort into it, they would have had an English-speaker look at it. They didn’t. Why? Laziness, cluelessness, fear of losing face, or plain apathy.”
I don’t think this is about laziness, clueslessness or whatever the fuck, I don’t think they CARE!. so just back the fuck off and have a sense of humour
[...] there is something so geeky about these pictures that I love. Via del.icio.us today, I ran into one of the funniest things I’ve ever read, which then led a friend of mine to offer this site as a further example of [...]
I`ll have the Salty egg vegetable sponge liver pig soup!
It’s like the poetry.
[...] May I take your order? OMFG, ROFL (via Jeremy Zawodny) [...]
[...] May I take your order? [...]
[...] I just love this piece on cultural disconnect – using a Chinese Menu. I use Chinese menus as a metaphor for speccing out large projects – so this one specially hit home. [...]
Wow. This is so funny. I am linking to it on my blog. our commentary is great. Thank you for buying the menu and sharing it with us.
hey people dont u know that they made those funny menus deliberately…now a lot of foreingers are wanting to visit China…lol
Oh my god, that is the funniest thing I have ever read… I am making a total obsene spectacle of myself laughing here at work, and no doubt wet my pants….
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right. It is totally wrong.But it is not easy to translate. don´t laugh.
Hi,
Love the site…I wasted many an hour reading your posts but this has to be one of the funniest things I have ever seen. It was impossible to keep myself from laughing. Well done.
Heh! – that was funny
(hard to belive they’re real though!?!)
*LMFAO!!!*
Looks like they used an online translation function that DIRECTLY translated some rather colorful terms for Chinese food.
Of course the mystery remains as to why “dried” translates to “fuck.”
Funny
Ash:
Start at the top, and scan for travelled
Prof explains it there.
An interesting aside: We have introduced the same equivalent the other direction, as in “Yeah, I’d do him.”
I am a Chinese Amercian Born in the State, i can assure you no one within any giant knowledgable background of Chinese can do this stuff if they are fake……….
I know all of the Chinese mentioned above and it is freaking hilarous……….
This is a cooperation with poor word choice and typo……..
For example, Frying Noodle with 3 ingnedients means literally mean 三絲炒麵.
Where 三 mean three, 絲 mean silk 炒麵 mean Fry noodle.
Actually this dish is 3 type of meat (Beef, Pork and chicken) chop in to fine pieces and fried with noodle………
If you know Chinese and you start pick up character by character, this menu will perfectly make sense.
P.S 干 is a foul work in China it literal mean fuck in English, therefore, you see so much fuck in this menu……..
If you want the whole thing translate to English that make sense, tell me about it here.
typing too fast, word, not work…………
I love 1331. It’s worth the 18 yuan. It looks and smells like a Tampon pulled from a cesspool. The garlic i9mproves the strange, unidentifyable flavor, which may be cowboy leg gone bad, but it’s low in calories. Maybe tastes like fuck. Aiiiyahh!
awesome!
Really I loved it!
This is “translation”!
Be careful because you never know when it could be you. I did few mistakes myself when i learned other languages. And just with my e-mail before i knew what it means in English. You have to laugh at yourself too. Enjoy and don’t forget them!!!lololol
p/s in the comment” the pussy” instand of “pepsi” was really the most hilarious comment i ever heard!
katherine
Too funny! The translations are absolutely hilarious! Thank you! It reminded me of a few years back when an all-you-can-eat chinese buffet opened up here in town. The first time we went, the waitress asked what we would like to drink. Not having a menu in hand, I asked what our options were and she replied, “Wahta, tea, pessy and sply”. I asked for clarification because I just didn’t quite get what the last two items were. Come to find out, she was saying Pepsi and Sprite. Yes, for the most part, we DID manage to maintain a certain level (borderline?) of composure but rest assured, we still had a good laugh about it. To this day, we often refer to our soft drinks as “Pessy” and “Sply”.
Just today my sister and I had lunch at a restaurant where one of the specials was, according to the waitress, “Field of Greens Salad” (if you serve it they will order?) Neither of us could make eye contact with the other for fear of BWAHAHAHAHing out of our chairs. We decided it must have been a momentary slipup but ten minutes later she said the same thing to another table of customers.