It was a night like any other – people inviting us out to a steakhouse. We get there, we are seated in a private room. All was well. Niceties aside, we prepare to order. I ask my wife what I should get. She says, “Go ahead and look at the menu – it’s in English.”
“Oh Really?”
I started out chuckling, then got progressively louder each time.
Yeah, that sounds like a bargain item.
“I think I’ll have the cowboy pick, or maybe the cowboy LEG?!?! I really wish I could shit you.”
What’s in a rurality salad? Country Music and buckshot?
I was so stunned by the English blunders herein, I had to buy the menu from them. Can you imagine the scene when that happened? I’ll never forget it. They couldn’t decide whether to be flattered or confused.
The Bcabe’s connected to the… um…
Can I get Retchup on the side?
I’m not quite that hungry, thanks.
Um… Is this vegetarian, then?
I didn’t know cucumbers had feet, let alone hooves.
what’s with all the verbs? But man, you had me at sweet and sour bone.
Bartender, I’ll have the usual!
wow, they love their cowboy meat here.
hold the foliage please.
Am I the only one turned on now? Guys? Anyone?
1 article pot: hometown? what the shit?
the scorn adds that little extra kick.
Nah, I think I’ll just have a Papsi.
maybe they should eat more words plum.
I’m starting to get nauseous at this point, but I’m still laughing. It gets better.
Wow – glad to know there are three “ignedients,” but what ARE THEY?
Aren’t these kung fu moves?
Is this like supersizing or what?
Do French Crips do drive-bys as well?
Do I order this or agree with it?
Does anyone order the “Strange Flavour of inside Freasure?”
man fruit? is that a euphemism?
Double boiled frog for dessert? does that come ala commode?
mordacity: a disposition to biting. Well, I should hope so. It’s a PIZZA – does it come in suppository form?
well, then, what the hell is it?
black bowel and cowboy leg? Add candlelight and you have yourself a date.
Isn’t this a show on CBS?
I passed on this.
lol. just pure lol.
how do you numb vegetables? and what’s fuck silk? satin?
What happens if I get that to go?
and with that, I’m stuffed. Duck Bukkake always makes me feel full.
BigSky182 says:
November 25, 2009 at 12:57 pm
So, just so I am sure I have this straight, one is supposed to drink the juice of the man fruit?
No, the fruit is used to flavour the brew.
Ryan says:
November 10, 2009 at 11:09 pm
This place is full of trolls..
I don’t believe anyone is who they claim..
Singaporean Chinese? If so, then why would you even be reading this article? “White Power” was being overly sarcastic, and if anyone is going to criticize anyone, they should be sure to check their own spelling, grammar, and punctuation very carefully before clicking the “Submit” button.
I personally am not fluent in anything but English, I’ve studied Spanish, French, & Latin. But regardless of my proficiency in any of them I wouldn’t try to argue about anything with anyone in the language.
Sadly, and sometimes funnily enough, someone can know English for many years and still speak like a foreigner, some things are small enough to where people don’t point them out to you, but simply accept them and mentally note that the person isn’t a native speaker. I’ve noticed an exceptional amount of grammatical and spelling error s on this page… Some can be attributed to typing errors, but others are just ignorance.
I halfway want to think that the comments written that claim to be from Chinese are simply trolls stirring up trouble, but then again, from some of the grammar mistakes I’m inclined to think they may actually be serious. Ken Kant sure has a dirty mouth for a fourteen year old girl. The last thing is, Darryl, are you serious? Either the two of you are trolling hard, or I’ve found two people who have fewer beneficial things to do with their time than me.
On another note, Jermaine, you made me laugh, bravo!
Not who we claim to be? What’s wrong with a Singaporean reading this article? I got the link off a friend felt that responses were to be made to you racist people.
Valuable information and excellent design you got here! I would like to thank you for sharing your thoughts and time into the stuff you post!! Thumbs up!
How many people here are invoking Poe’s Law?
Oh god, I’m havign a coughing fit, but that was so worth it.
I also noticed the “add the sheet iron” from the “retchup” pic…I think I’ll stick to supplements, thanks.
What did you order?
Thanks for the post! It was funny!
This is arguably the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.
I was hoping this would save me some time, but instead only raised even more questions. Time to hit big G now…
This is beautiful, I’m glad you were able to buy the menu! I lived in China for a while but now I’m in Southeast Asia and I guess the language isn’t as flowery so the funniest thing I see these days is accidentally writing “crap” instead of “crab”.
Thanks a lot for getting me wrinkles on my face:-( I was beginning to lose my teeth, glad I held it well with all my strength in the end!
Long time listener first time caller. The new site cuts out parts of the menu. Takes away the funny. Bring back the funny. Thanks for making me laugh.
yummmmy:P thanks for your tips i’d love to follow you.anyway happy new year ~~~~~~~~
Hey, This is a superb post. I found you on bing. Keep up the work.
First-rate work. You have made a new reader. Please maintain the good posts and I look forward to more of your engrossing writings.
Why are they fucking the salt? the bit with the rape was….i dont even have words to describe it but i cant stop laughing. you are awesome mate
[...] Some things get lost in translation, however. It’s certainly common to find grammer and spelling mistakes in equipment manuals translated to English from Japanese, for example. And it’s somewhat of a cliche amusement to check out Chinese restaurant menus translated to English. [...]
Thank you for this marvelous piece of writing. I did detect Im getting a few glitches on your site however. I can view the content just great but for some reason at this time there is actually a frame on top which states “page can not be found” hmmm this could possibly end up being on my end, I may possibly have some spyware.
I almost suffocated i was lauging so hard. Thank you for sharing this. Would it be possible for you publish the hole menu? This is amazing.
the result of the Chinese using low cost electronic dictionaries with poor spell-checks and shoddy translations