The name of this place was something like “Big World Park.” ‘Twas like Epcot center, an effigy of the world in miniature. The purpose of the park seemed to be to replicate the architecture of the world, without populating it with fake citizens.
Once again, they had a good idea. Their reproductions of the look of the American southwest and the churches and temples of earth are spot on, from the outside.
The only trouble is, it was DESERTED. It was like playing the game “Myst,” in which the only puzzle to solve was how to go the bathroom without touching anything.
The only parts that contained any human activity were the animal park and the main stage, where “representatives” of other countries performed for a atypically polite Southern Chinese audience. The animal area was a brutal reminder of circuses before Soleil. This bear could do nothing but stand, face forward, or get choked. The lions and tigers were crammed together with a panther in a cage the size of a small bathroom. Very depressing, but not half as cruel as what happens daily at any area restaurant. Let’s move on.
These guys were wearing jackets labeled “Ethiopia,” so I’m assuming they were imported as part of this world showcase.
This girl was smoking hot. And talented, though I can’t see this having applications in the real world.
Yes, even with the pit sweat.
Amazingly, the longest demonstration in the showcase was of a Chinese Qigong master. For those of you who don’t know, Qigong is chinese for “complete B.S.”
His strength supposedly came from his lifelong cultivation of his internal energy, which apparently prohibited him from doing even one sit-up.
And here I thought the Japanese were the only perverts in East Asia. I’ll let you guess whether he’s wearing pants in the bottom half of this photo.
Another segment was a guy who rode a bide like Tommy Lee did Pam Anderson. He rode it silly. And in the finale, he disassembled the bike while riding it.
There was one other section with activity – the rides. And I don’t mean Space Mountain. I mean the rusty, scary-as-hell castoffs from the 1918 World’s fair, run by people with even less education than the tattooed ex-con pulling the lever on the Tilt-a-Whirl at Coney Island. No way in hell was I getting anywhere near these damned things. But the few people at the park did.
One other thing to note about the park, besides an absolutely immense, though drained, swimming pool: There were many region-appropriate restaurants peppered throughout the park. But in keeping with Rahoi’s law of Chinese amusement parks, they were boarded up, sadly unused, mini ghost towns where strudel, burgers, and flan once were served by girls in costume. The only place to get food was from the ubiquitous stand with dried snacks and two coolers, one for drinks and one for ice cream.
Even still, all considered, it was good times. One of these days, they’ll get it right. I’ve heard that in the summer, this place goes off. I’ll have to remember that when I’m at Magic Mountain with the other half.
free the poor animals. that is sick. sickos. eeew!
Good Lordi! I hate it when Chinese people think or use qigong as some sort of superman ability! It’s an exercise/health regime! LOL!
If anyone would like to free the poor animals they could do no worse than getting on the case of the bear bile trade.
Chinese black bears are kept in small cages for up to 14 years, (from childhood and until they die from starvation or psychosis) unable to move and with a tube stuck into their bodies to extract bile, 24 hours a day. Apparently bear bile is a hot commodity on the mainland, right up there with shark’s fin, and equally ridiculous. If you would like to do something to free these animals, google Jill Robinson. She has been a tireless campaigner for the release of these tortured black bears for many years. At least the animals in Chinese zoos aren’t in constant pain, although they also have a tough deal as the photo clearly shows. When I raise this kind of topic with Chinese people, they normally tell me: You don’t understand, you’re not Chinese. But if torturing animals for fun or for the purpose of some vague sexual prowess-thing is an aspect of being Chinese, I have to say I’m glad I’m not of that nationality.Nothing is black and white for sure, but torture and abuse surely can’t be relative and a question of race.
Let’s help Jill Robinson educate these misinformed people and save the animals.
I find your comments narrow minded and sexist, typical of anyone of the modern age. Sorry but had to blurt that out.
I can only agree with both Anonymous 1, and 4, and Cecilie. Mainly with Anon 4.
Blurting is probably best avoided cos you end up sounding daft!
Where’s the sexism? I can only think its the comment about the smoking hot girl! What? Its not ok to say someones hot these days? And yes I am female
And modern age? What you think people were more enlightened and less sexist in past centuries? ha!
I actually thought this was well written and good fun…
its people who shout words like “sexism” at the drop of a hat that are turning our world crazy!!
the art of war…
…He wrote that . . ….
how the fuck canyou walk awy from a bear torture session id have grabbed a guards gun and and free the bear abd chain up the zoos manager
Fuck China
Thank you for a very clear and helpful post. I am definitely a violator of many of these rules. I often find myself conflicted when writing a blog post because I see myself writing more than people want to read, but I feel that I have to do the subject matter justice by thoroughly covering it. I feel that by following some of these rules I end up cutting out important aspects to the discussion. I guess you have to find a balance.
Thank you for a very clear and helpful post