I have so many of these to get to, it will take me a while - good for you guys, bad for my marriage. It’s one thing to constantly be taking pictures of random things but it’s quite another to spend all night cropping, resizing, posting, and commenting on them. You have to understand, most of these signs to her make sense - she’s reading the Chinese. But for us, they offer that sweet flavor of - what was it? yes, something like this:

This tasted like pulpy Gatorade. I have no idea what the pulp was.

is that some kind of weight crack, buddy?

What’s up my nighears?

oh it’s naturally tropical, as opposed to what? Growing a carrot in the jungle?

I was loving the look of these tough looking Bon Jovi wannabes. I only later saw that he was wearing a coat from this place:

backstree’s back - alright! yes, that’s stree. It read the same on Jon Bon’s jacket. And if they weren’t officially queeny before that sonnet about the kitty, well, let’s make it official.

why do all the clothes in here smell like Papa John’s?

What does a hearty itinerary look like? Stew and potatoes, then rough sex and an argument?

I’m usually wary of anyone named “rondo” but this seals it.

aren’t all buffets friendly?

The name of this restaurant is “Real Kung Fu” and, as you can see, they’re using the world’s favorite martial artist (Bruce Lee) to sell Chinese food. Or as they call it here, “food.” I can just picture the terrible TV ads. “Your crane technique is no match for my Dim Sum and rice porridge!” Okay that’s way funnier when you consider that I’m acting that out here in the house. And it’s 2:30 AM. Did I mention I’m somehow married? and I’m in my 30s.

Call me immature, but somehow when it’s written this way, it’s wrong.

What I wouldn’t give to youth her beautiful life. I’d youth it silly.

In america, I think they call this “cocaine.”

I think infinitives are bad for business.

Wait…where? Ahhhhhhhh! Don’t you think they should get it right when someone’s life and limb are at stake?

So should I use it, and thereby save? Well, just to be safe, I left all the faucets running. I’m expecting a check any day now.

In my mind, inside there’s a quartet playing while rich people eat brie and get enemas.

I think that about sums it up.

I was hungry, now I’m just confused.

Brought to you by the same ad wizards who convinced us that lemons had cleaning power - now get those nasty garlic smells out of your dishes with - more garlic!

My daughter’s English may never ever recover from living here.

Every time I see a spelling mistake, I look at the keyboard to see if the keys were anywhere near each other, or if the correct letter looks a lot like the one they used. Nope…and nope.

This store’s name epitomizes “the customer is always right.”

King Very.

Wishful. Thinking.

I think this might be an actual shirt from the states. It works either way.

i have no idea what Wang sells here. honey? Or is it just a Christian Science Reading Room with an agitated hive swinging from a ceiling fan?

is this like the Eyes Wide Shut Party? Will I need to bring a mask and some nonoxynol 9?

What in christendom is a mario cookie? Shouldn’t it be a super mario cookie? And is such a thing exists, how was Nintendo not involved? At least they could give us “Kooky Dongs” or “the Legend of Melba.”

These candies are rated PG-13. With a glycemic index of 150.

dunno why this caught my eye - maybe because the top reads “tom yum flavored crackers.” if I only knew exactly what flavor that was…

lucky - bearlucky - shot? In my mind - the bear is never lucky to be shot - unless it’s with a tranquilizer and he’s getting a root canal. And even then, he always ends up with that annoying radio tag that’s like the size of a 2-liter of soda. Are you telling me that we can make an iPod nano, but we can’t track a slow-moving animal that hibernates for 6 months with anything less than a Tonka truck dangling from its neck?

Nike and Adidas must bee shivering in their shoes. Okay, that was a typo, but I’m leaving it in.

this was on a box of tissue.

as you’d expect with a population that had to be limited to one kid each, these machines are as rusty and unused as the Ferris Wheel at English Fun World. I’ve never ever seen anyone even glance at them. They look like relics in “Beneath the Planet of the Apes.”

17 responses so far ↓
1 Anonymous // Feb 14, 2006 at 12:39 pm
I love the way your mind works!!!
I’m not alone!!!
2 Anonymous // Feb 14, 2006 at 1:15 pm
“Tom Yum” is a rich, savoury broth made from mushrooms (I think).
3 Anonymous // Feb 14, 2006 at 1:30 pm
“Every time I see a spelling mistake, I look at the keyboard to see if the keys were anywhere near each other, or if the correct letter looks a lot like the one they used.”
I looked at the keyboard at the same time after reading that comment!
4 Anonymous // Feb 14, 2006 at 2:54 pm
I read through your Engrish posts, and they are too funny, your comments really crack me up.
I’m gonna get me some nutlet right about now ..
5 JB // Feb 14, 2006 at 6:29 pm
lol… The truth unveils… The Backstreet boys are emo :.(
6 JB // Feb 14, 2006 at 6:32 pm
ooops ‘Backstree’
somehow my finger slipped to a different meaning
7 WD9 // Feb 14, 2006 at 9:25 pm
I think these things are really profound. They are messages from that realm beyond sensical language that Wittgenstein knew weren’t necessarily meaningless but just beyond our rational understanding. They each capture some ineffible truth, much like how lyrical arts (poetry, music) get their power from approaching nonsense. Contrary to common opinion that ‘Engrish’ is a relatively low form of humor, I think how amusing you find it is proportional to how smart you are.
8 Anonymous // Feb 15, 2006 at 12:10 am
Mario cookie? Why, it’s just what it says in Japanese — strawberry cream sandwich cookies.
But… Mario? Do you have to save a princess to buy them?
9 Kearns // Feb 15, 2006 at 6:59 am
“Tom Yum” is a classic Thai soup made from lemongrass and usually with chicken or seafood.
And the style of the box is clearly a ripoff of Pocky (a Japanese snack brand)
10 Anonymous // Feb 15, 2006 at 12:03 pm
“Every time I see a spelling mistake, I look at the keyboard to see if the keys were anywhere near each other, or if the correct letter looks a lot like the one they used.”
So I looked at the keyboard BEFORE looking at your comment…LOL
I did notice that the n form the end of the prior word is roght next to the b, of course that is giving them a LOT of leeway….
11 Anonymous // Feb 15, 2006 at 4:54 pm
I’d guess chocolate and cheese “hot-pot” is referring to fondue. . .
12 Anonymous // Feb 20, 2006 at 4:52 am
Tom Yum is ‘Tom Yum Goong’ a hot and sour Thai soup. You can find the recipe on my blog site. It is also the title of Tony Jaa’s new film.
http://luckykitty.blogspot.com/2005_10_01_luckykitty_archive.html
Excellent blog
13 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 6:30 pm
The “Mono” sweets make me a bit leery, considering mononucleosis (aka mono) is the “kissing disease”
14 Anonymous // Mar 18, 2006 at 4:23 am
“Tom Yum” is a Thai soup made from chicken, lemon grass, kaffir lime leaves, mushrooms, (chili and basil perhaps), etc. “Tom Yum Kai” or something like it also has coconut milk.
Sounds like a good cracker to me. Love your site.
15 K. A. Zei // Apr 16, 2006 at 6:14 am
“Respect a man, he will do the same.”
That’s the wisest thing I’ve heard in a long time. Many women should take that advice.
- a girl
16 Jennifer // Jun 3, 2006 at 8:52 pm
perhaps the Mono “Melting Love Romance” is their version of Japanese manufacturer meiji’s MeltyKiss. I love those…
17 Anonymous // Dec 17, 2006 at 2:35 pm
I saw a very similar sign to the “Be careful in Rundle” one in a restaurant in Foshan.
“Care in Rundle” I believe it said. I looked it up and it turns out that a rundle is a somewhat archaic term for a rung of a ladder.
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