trust me, I’m Nigerian.

My “friend” has been trying to find love on the internet. Turns out it’s not easy. He found a good-looking British “girl” named Benny on Webdate.com, and dropped her a line. Here are her responses over the last week.

1. “Hi dear i have added you to my chat friend right now i left an offline for you, hope to catch you on later lol benny and one more thing your physic i like it kool keep it up, lol.”

2. “Hi its nice to hear from you. Well i into sales of aretifacts and it carried me far and wide but this is my first visit to africa. I am currently in nigeria and its a lovely place. Well i have not visited china before would love to some day and dont worry when i come back i will tell you all about africa when we go out for dinner. Well is nice to hear from you .Lol.”

3. “Hi well my life is pretty intresting though we all have our ups and downs well 21st of this month wao hope i am back then and get to know you.”

4. “Hi its good to hear from you. How are you doing i guess fine how is everything going at the gym hope great, pls i want to ask a favor from you please let me know id it is ok with you. Hope to hear from you soon lol.”

5. “Thanks for writing back. I am glad you did. Well i dont know where to start. Well i sold my paintings to a client and he has refused to pay up i have not seen him since the last 3 days i contacted the local police here and they cant seem to find him. I dont have enough money to pay for my hotel bills and settle my agent. Please i want your assistance. I need 450 dollars to add to the money i have so i can payup clear my name and come back home this week, thanks for your kind assistance. Lol benny.”

So the whole profile on webdate is just more Nigerian scammers trolling for desperate horny foreigners willing to save a damsel in distress. Is it just me, or does Nigeria sound like the bar in “House of Games?” Does David Mamet live there? Is it near Mos Eisley Spaceport?