Many thanks to Jason for his intrepid search for the greatest gag gift of all time. I think I’m still in the lead after an autographed photo of his nemesis, a Chairman Mao statue, and the best-designed heckling shirt of all time. But this keeps him in the game.

The story of how I discovered this truly amazing gem begins, like many great discoveries, by accident. Paris, France: I am suffering some insomnia and trying to amuse myself with crappy French TV. While it is complete garbage (not to mention entirely in French, a language my American brain cannot or will not comprehend) the commercials are great.

So there I was, desperately searching for a shampoo or body wash commercial (because these are universally shot with enough gratutious nudity to give Porky’s a run for its money), and then I saw it.Not the French commercial with the three women frolicking naked in a lagoon naked washing each other’s hair - something better.

At first my eyes could not adequately deliver the proper neural impulse to my brain. Complete disbelief followed by, “This has to be a French version of SNL”.I finally went to bed later and woke up thinking I had only dreamt it. But then I saw it again. Again shock and awe. Complete mental breakdown and I missed the phone number.

On a hope and prayer I made my way to the French version of virgin megastore, FNAC. I searched and searched to no avail; I could remember the words NOT SOLD IN STORES. I became depressed and the search haunted and consumed me - I simply HAD to possess it.

A week later, in my darkest hour I saw a shimmering light and there it was.I have purchased condoms, pornos, even asked a rather attractive woman in a Dutch pharmacy if she could sell me viagra without a prescription, but NOTHING was more embarrassing than purchasing this.

My hope was to slip this CD in with my friend Karim’s purchase. But he was too smart for that. Although he knew its importance, he couldn’t muster the courage to buy it. “I can give you the money for it, but this is a bagman job. You have to buy it.”

and so I did. And now I share this with you… enjoy.