Saturday, August 07, 2004
I know what you're thinking, and you're right.
I love Magnum, P.I. - probably more than I should. The dream of every Alaskan is to live in Hawaii, and the dream of every pre-teen boy is to have adventures, drive that red Ferrari, and get to fly in his friend's helicopter. Damn near the perfect show.
I might be the only one besides Larry Mannetti who stays up to watch Magnum at 2 AM on a Friday night on the Hallmark Channel. I can't get enough. It holds up pretty well, and never jumped the shark. But I have to take exception to last night's episode.
An old woman, Robin Masters's school teacher, comes to stay on his estate and finish her new book on Ornithology. Here's the fun part - the old woman is a fake, and really a KGB agent, there to settle a 40 yr old score. After her tea with her target, she pulls a gun, but Magnum shows up to foil her plans. Mexican standoff.
She unleashes her killer parrot (sorry, Macaques) at Magnum, who fights it off with special effects unworthy of Doctor Who. It looks like he's fending off a rabid Muppet. Then Higgins yells out the attack call of the Peregrine Falcon (It actually sounded more like someone was tugging on his Prince Albert.), which scares the Macaques off. It flies straight into the whirling blades of T.C.'s hovering Island Hopper. When the bird hits the rotor, all you see is T.C. and a puff of multicolored feathers, as if he'd hit a dancer at the Cal-Neva. As the KGB assassin collapses in a fit of sorrow for her dead parrot comrade, it's all over. The whole confrontation is just a few seconds.
Read that paragraph again. Who greenlighted that script? Well, unlike the introduction of Scrappy Doo, this mistake will vanish into the annals of Hawaiian Lore, along with Baywatch Nights, Revenge of the Nerds 2: Nerds in Paradise, and Two-Fingered Poi.
I might be the only one besides Larry Mannetti who stays up to watch Magnum at 2 AM on a Friday night on the Hallmark Channel. I can't get enough. It holds up pretty well, and never jumped the shark. But I have to take exception to last night's episode.
An old woman, Robin Masters's school teacher, comes to stay on his estate and finish her new book on Ornithology. Here's the fun part - the old woman is a fake, and really a KGB agent, there to settle a 40 yr old score. After her tea with her target, she pulls a gun, but Magnum shows up to foil her plans. Mexican standoff.
She unleashes her killer parrot (sorry, Macaques) at Magnum, who fights it off with special effects unworthy of Doctor Who. It looks like he's fending off a rabid Muppet. Then Higgins yells out the attack call of the Peregrine Falcon (It actually sounded more like someone was tugging on his Prince Albert.), which scares the Macaques off. It flies straight into the whirling blades of T.C.'s hovering Island Hopper. When the bird hits the rotor, all you see is T.C. and a puff of multicolored feathers, as if he'd hit a dancer at the Cal-Neva. As the KGB assassin collapses in a fit of sorrow for her dead parrot comrade, it's all over. The whole confrontation is just a few seconds.
Read that paragraph again. Who greenlighted that script? Well, unlike the introduction of Scrappy Doo, this mistake will vanish into the annals of Hawaiian Lore, along with Baywatch Nights, Revenge of the Nerds 2: Nerds in Paradise, and Two-Fingered Poi.
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