Thursday, August 12, 2004
HurriKANE BeWEAR
You know, we've all seen the funny footage of reds getting interviewed during a storm. Really, there's no higher humor than trying to translate hick-speak during a rain shower. I am currently in Miami, where Hurricane Charley is bearing down on us like Kobe at a cheerleading camp. Recognizing high humor possibility, I flipped on the 11 pm news.
After a general update from the weather center (I've always maintained that there is no bigger chubby for a weather man than big weather. Especially big weather that goes on overnight so he can stay up all night and anchor and then brag about it.), we break off a report from a Louis Vitton-carrying reporter standing in the rain-- who would have rather been at the Kobe-target cheerleading camp - to go to a dude with the Monroe County Emergency Services:
REPORTER: Let's talk about the most vulnerable people.
EMERGENCY DUDE: Well, Bryan, people in mobile homes are always a target.
REPORTER: Isn't that a bit general? Are there any specific mobile home areas?
EMERGENCY DUDE: Bryan, let me tell you something about people that live in mobile homes. We have a bunch of people in mobile homes in Monroe County that for some reason have not left. I don't understand that. We told them to leave over two days ago and they haven't. That's just not smart. I beg those people to leave and they stay. They're going to sustain damage, maybe even to themselves, and they can't blame Charley for that.
After a break, they began the "Hurricane Charley Special Report" by showing Key West, which is about to get drilled. We next go to the poetry of people's messages for Charley that have been scribbled on boarded up windows.
This was one sign...spelled just like this: CHARLEY, WE ANT SCARRED
After a general update from the weather center (I've always maintained that there is no bigger chubby for a weather man than big weather. Especially big weather that goes on overnight so he can stay up all night and anchor and then brag about it.), we break off a report from a Louis Vitton-carrying reporter standing in the rain-- who would have rather been at the Kobe-target cheerleading camp - to go to a dude with the Monroe County Emergency Services:
REPORTER: Let's talk about the most vulnerable people.
EMERGENCY DUDE: Well, Bryan, people in mobile homes are always a target.
REPORTER: Isn't that a bit general? Are there any specific mobile home areas?
EMERGENCY DUDE: Bryan, let me tell you something about people that live in mobile homes. We have a bunch of people in mobile homes in Monroe County that for some reason have not left. I don't understand that. We told them to leave over two days ago and they haven't. That's just not smart. I beg those people to leave and they stay. They're going to sustain damage, maybe even to themselves, and they can't blame Charley for that.
After a break, they began the "Hurricane Charley Special Report" by showing Key West, which is about to get drilled. We next go to the poetry of people's messages for Charley that have been scribbled on boarded up windows.
This was one sign...spelled just like this: CHARLEY, WE ANT SCARRED
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