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Alright, here is the Fr. Pepin story.

I wasn't sure if i was going to hell, but now i'm certain Lucifer has saved me a seat in first class! I went to a catholic school, and every week we'd have confession. My buddies and I were always running out of ideas on what to say, since we really didn't do that much crazy shit (at that time.) So my buddy Justin went into confession, came out and said, "I told him, 'I slapped my mom.'" Stewey said, "I'll beat that!"

He returned and said, " I told him a slept with my sister." We were all laughing, then I offered, "I'm taking it up a notch."

I went in, but sat face to face, not like the other fools. They used to hold confession in the M.P. room, not in a confessional. We'd both sit on bleachers and Fr. Pepin would turn away so he wouldn't know who was confessing. I sat two feet directly in front of him so he'd know who to point out in a line- up.

I started telling him how i want to be forgiven for homosexual acts and molesting my dog, shit like that. I went all-out. I told my boyz, and they were fucking dying. Every time after that I passed Father Pepin in the hall, I knew he was thinking, "At all costs, I have to keep him away from the school mascot."