Thursday, July 15, 2004
Asian Gamblers Anonymous
I can't believe that after 6 straight hours of watching Poker on Fox Sports Net, my beautiful wife and brother-in-law actually cleared the table and demanded I deal out some no-limit Hold 'Em! It's 3AM!
they have the fever so bad they actually watch RERUNS of World Series of Poker - they already KNOW who's going to win, and yet they're transfixed.
I had to sleep on the couch after I didn't set up an online gambling account for the missus. (I couldn't - it was a weekend and the funds have to move around banks and such. It's not that I think she'll pull a Marge Simpson and squander the nest egg on some ALL-IN plays.) But try telling that to someone jonesing for some action.
This follows perfectly with what I saw living in China - the Cantonese will gamble on ANYTHING; Cabbies gambling with each other on fares, butchers gambling with customers on the exact weight of cuts, and kids gambling with each other on whatever they could dream up, including a game of guess-your-weight with yours truly. Which led to this exchange:
"hey - how much do you weigh?"
"what do you think?"
"100 kilos!"
"try 160."
[ insert ten minutes of kids dancing around, yelling, and telling all passerbys my exact weight ]
"wow - does your family give you all the meat?"
Gambling is a serious thing. One friend I have started with $50 and turned it into $20,000 in a few months. Another wrote a company check to pay off his losses gambling on cricket, and got the boot. I have watched friends stand at the same Roulette table for 12 hours trying to win back their initial loss.
Another friend gambled away $500k playing the ponies. Now he lives in a van. And one business acquaintance who had struck it rich lost 40 MILLION in 2001, playing options and derivatives in the stock market. A far more acceptable gambling habit.
Once I was up a $1000 playing blackjack - I set a goal, and said if I hit it, I and my friends were all going to the Bunny Ranch. The very next hand, I lost all that money, plus $700 of my own, then went to ATM not once, not twice, but THRICE. Then, I went to the cage and wrote a CHECK! Needless to say I lost it all - every last penny, more than double my rent - and this was a guy 90k in debt to student loan companies and the IRS. That night for me was like my 21st birthday and drinking. Never again did I reach so high and fall so far. That's the fever.
Now Fox Sports, the Travel Channel, Bravo, and ESPN2 have brought it back into my house. Thanks a ton.
What was the ante again?
they have the fever so bad they actually watch RERUNS of World Series of Poker - they already KNOW who's going to win, and yet they're transfixed.
I had to sleep on the couch after I didn't set up an online gambling account for the missus. (I couldn't - it was a weekend and the funds have to move around banks and such. It's not that I think she'll pull a Marge Simpson and squander the nest egg on some ALL-IN plays.) But try telling that to someone jonesing for some action.
This follows perfectly with what I saw living in China - the Cantonese will gamble on ANYTHING; Cabbies gambling with each other on fares, butchers gambling with customers on the exact weight of cuts, and kids gambling with each other on whatever they could dream up, including a game of guess-your-weight with yours truly. Which led to this exchange:
"hey - how much do you weigh?"
"what do you think?"
"100 kilos!"
"try 160."
[ insert ten minutes of kids dancing around, yelling, and telling all passerbys my exact weight ]
"wow - does your family give you all the meat?"
Gambling is a serious thing. One friend I have started with $50 and turned it into $20,000 in a few months. Another wrote a company check to pay off his losses gambling on cricket, and got the boot. I have watched friends stand at the same Roulette table for 12 hours trying to win back their initial loss.
Another friend gambled away $500k playing the ponies. Now he lives in a van. And one business acquaintance who had struck it rich lost 40 MILLION in 2001, playing options and derivatives in the stock market. A far more acceptable gambling habit.
Once I was up a $1000 playing blackjack - I set a goal, and said if I hit it, I and my friends were all going to the Bunny Ranch. The very next hand, I lost all that money, plus $700 of my own, then went to ATM not once, not twice, but THRICE. Then, I went to the cage and wrote a CHECK! Needless to say I lost it all - every last penny, more than double my rent - and this was a guy 90k in debt to student loan companies and the IRS. That night for me was like my 21st birthday and drinking. Never again did I reach so high and fall so far. That's the fever.
Now Fox Sports, the Travel Channel, Bravo, and ESPN2 have brought it back into my house. Thanks a ton.
What was the ante again?
