Tuesday, May 25, 2004
strippers are realistic
this could be straight outta the next Tarantino movie, or Lifetime movie of the week:
rdog: my buddy and i met this guy to sign some contracts at fantasy ranch (a strip club). we did our business, and then the guy left. my buddy and i got a couple of dances. i got one from a chick that was drunk out of her mind. then she gets up and says she'll be back in a minute. she comes back about ten minutes later. tells me that she just did a few lines of coke. so she's just hanging out and gave me maybe one more dance. then she's just sitting there and she stops moving. i'm like, "oh, this isn't good." my buddy grabs a bouncer. the bouncer comes over and tells her to get up. i tell the bouncer she's passed out. he says she's just kidding. i say, "dude, look at her. she's not pretending. she's passed out." the bouncer then just picks her up and carries her to the back. i lean over and tell my buddy, "man, don't let this go bad for me. that b*tch is going to o.d. and my fingerprints are all f*cking over her. i can just see the headline 'son of local businessman indicted in stripper's death'"
rdog: she was wanting to go to the hotel down the street. f*ck that. no way i'm paying for dances, sex and a hotel. if that's what i was after, i would have gone right to a hooker to begin with.
cody: lol...exactly...you would have skipped the middle man - how much did she want?
rdog: $300
cody: for the dances and f*ck?
rdog: yep
cody: i thought it would have been $1,000...at least
rdog: nope. strippers are realistic
cody: did the b*tch offer you cocaine?
rdog: nope. i'm sure she's spending all her money on it
cody: that had to be the craziest thing that's ever happened to you in a titty joint, right?
rdog: besides blowing a bunch of money in one night, yeah
cody: yeah, i remember the $1,000 night - that was certainly a classic, though
rdog: a really fun time, but i felt awful the next day. and not in a hangover-type of way. more like in a "how stupid can you be?" kind of way. spending $1,000 without getting sex is just stupid. you could go to a tit joint, pick up a stripper and take her to a motel for a lot less than that. it's just being a bad consumer.
cody: you talk to the stripper much? get to know her?
rdog: not really. she might have told me, but i didn't care. i was just there to get some tits in my face
cody: mission accomplished? decent set?
rdog: small, but nice. she probably weighed 95 lbs tops
cody: good god...like getting a table dance from mary lou retton
yep. these are my friends.
rdog: she was wanting to go to the hotel down the street. f*ck that. no way i'm paying for dances, sex and a hotel. if that's what i was after, i would have gone right to a hooker to begin with.
cody: lol...exactly...you would have skipped the middle man - how much did she want?
rdog: $300
cody: for the dances and f*ck?
rdog: yep
cody: i thought it would have been $1,000...at least
rdog: nope. strippers are realistic
cody: did the b*tch offer you cocaine?
rdog: nope. i'm sure she's spending all her money on it
cody: that had to be the craziest thing that's ever happened to you in a titty joint, right?
rdog: besides blowing a bunch of money in one night, yeah
cody: yeah, i remember the $1,000 night - that was certainly a classic, though
rdog: a really fun time, but i felt awful the next day. and not in a hangover-type of way. more like in a "how stupid can you be?" kind of way. spending $1,000 without getting sex is just stupid. you could go to a tit joint, pick up a stripper and take her to a motel for a lot less than that. it's just being a bad consumer.
cody: you talk to the stripper much? get to know her?
rdog: not really. she might have told me, but i didn't care. i was just there to get some tits in my face
cody: mission accomplished? decent set?
rdog: small, but nice. she probably weighed 95 lbs tops
cody: good god...like getting a table dance from mary lou retton
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