The Shakedown!

last night on the way home we were stopped by the police. The officer then tried to bully us into paying a “fine” of some undetermined amount. He said we didn’t have the right paperwork, then suggested that we’d need to pay “una multa.” Cody played it exactly right, and eventually we were let go (without paying), but that was a very tense 8 or 9 minutes of arguing with a corrupt third-world cop.

things to remember:

1.) never give them your documents. If they get ahold of your license, you’ll have to pay and pay to get it back. That’s why cody held it out to the cop with two hands and didn’t relinquish it. He learned this firsthand in mexico when his father came out from a gas station to find a cop had unscrewed and removed his license plate.

2.) never admit to anything. Don’t be afraid to argue with them just because they are “the authorities.” Be calm and firm - act like you know what you’re talking about. When Cody asked the cop why he had pulled us over, the cop replied, “We pull everyone over at this time of night.” Cody then fired back, “Bullshit! i don’t believe you. In fact, you have a headlight out - we should pull YOU over!”

3.) Act important. We first told him we were scouts, which is usually a get-out-of-third-world-jail-free card. No dice this time. Luckily our friend here is Enrique Rojas, a sportscaster that EVERYONE knows. Cody dropped his name a couple of times, then the cop replied, “You can call him from the police station, unless you pay the fine.” Cody said, “No - i’ll call him from here!” he then pulled out his cellphone and began dialing. The cop didn’t know that his phone was out of minutes and it wasn’t going to work. Cody didn’t panic, and pretended to try another number. It was at this point that the cop figured that we weren’t going to easily pay, and gave up. how exciting.

4.) Play dumb, but not too dumb. Cody deliberately avoided telling the cop he had an apartment in Santo Domingo, instead saying we were staying with a friend. He began with the “Dumb Non-Español-Speaking White Guy” routine, but quickly backed off. If you’re too dumb, they will try and bully you. If you’re too smart, too native, then you should know the “rules” you are breaking - you’ll get no slack.

OTHER HIGHLIGHTS:

1. During the Mexico-Puerto Rico game, a crazy old mexican fan ran onto the field waving an enormous flag of mexico. He quickly circled the bases as a lone security guy FOLLOWED him around, in lieu of cutting him off or meeting him at home. It played out like a rodeo clown act, the old man running at top speed to home plate and the Wile E. Coyote of Security trailing behind. As he crossed home, for some reason, fireworks began going off past the right field wall. The guy in the on-deck circle gave him a high five, then his pursuer helped him back into the stands! And that is exactly the kind of tournament, kind of people, and kind of place this is.

2. I fell asleep eating again. I was so exhausted, sleep-deprived, and sunburnt when I was eating chicken breast on the waterfront at 3AM that I started closing my eyes. Eventually I nodded off, but it must not have been for that long, because no one mentioned it. Do you know how strange it is to wake up with FOOD in your mouth?

3. We took our clothes to get washed same day. We came back a couple of hours later, during our only launch window, and they weren’t ready. the reason? No electricity, of course. So tomorrow I’ll pick up the clothes wearing a thong fashioned out of our flimsy shower curtains.